Moving Forward
by Praegressus
Summary: After what seems like a lifetime in the hospital, Mikhail Tokarev arrives at Yamaku High. OC story, runs parallel to Hisao's Hanako route.
1. Act I, Chapter I: A Different World

**It's been a long while since I last read the story, but it's potential for fanfiction is massive. Like countless ones before, it will be an OC story, but he will not be replacing the original protagonist.**

**Keep in mind that this is my first story, so feedback would be appreciated.**

**Also, since it's a first story, and I'm a perfectionist, there will be a whole bunch of changes and edits.**

* * *

I'm surprised with how many stories start in hospitals.

That isn't supposed to suggest mine did, my story started the moment I was born.

Somewhere deep within my genetic code, it was written that I'd suffer from an exotic version of Parkinson's Disease.

The catch was, I'd get to see the first symptoms at the age of 18.

One could imagine my surprise when I tried to take a step, and my foot refused to listen.

Had I been anywhere else aside from that staircase, I wouldn't tumble five meters downstairs and get hit by a car going 80 kilometers an hour.

Sadly, I was there, and now I'm marking exactly half a year in the hospital.

I never heard of anyone staying that long. The fact my mother is a recognized surgeon surely helped there.

These doctors are her colleagues, they are people who put their careers first. My presence here is a nuisance to them.

When I woke from the coma, my mother was the first to bring me up to speed on my condition.

I've lost count of how many times I was told that my full recovery is a miracle.

I get hit by a car midair, and I get to walk away after a bit longer stay at the hospital.

The man upstairs probably has something in plan for me.

I ended up keeping a journal of my time here.

It was good at first, when my classmates came to visit, and the doctor would swing by every day.

That time is long past.

It gets lonely.

I got school to catch up to, it keeps me busy over the day. It could be worse.

I can't fall asleep without medications, I don't know why.

The nurses say I talk in my sleep.

I worry, but it does me no good.

But the worst part is the window.

The small panel of glass sits in the corner of my vision, taunting me with images from the outside world.

That once large world that is now nothing more to me than the space between these four walls.

There are occasional glimpses of the sun, or a cloud. I once even saw a bird fly past the little glass barrier.

I don't know what day of the week it is anymore, nor do I care.

I flip through my Japanese book, barely looking at the pages.

The sound of the lock turning immediately catches my attention.

My mother steps inside, her expression hidden under an emotionless mask, accompanied by the doctor.

My mind filters out the man's banter, focusing on the key words.

"… and you completely recovered. As for school, I'd recommend Yamaku, they have both the personnel and the equipment to help prevent any more accidents like this one."

I'm free.

My gaze drifts to the little window in the corner.

There's an entire life of living with a disease that will surely kill me in the next 40 years.

It will weigh heavy on me, there is no doubt about it.

But there's hope.

I shove the wheelchair aside, changing into the same clothes I arrived in.

I walk out of the hospital on my own two feet.

After this long, a smirk finally appears on my lips again.

* * *

The car gradually slows down, stopping in front of Yamaku High.

I say goodbye to my mother, giving her another hug before finally heading for the school.

Keeping myself from turning around ends up being too much, and I turn in time to see the car disappear into the forest.

So much for turning back.

The gate is of the kind that make people stop and think about gates.

Someone, somewhere probably stopped to think about how this gate symbolizes the end of a chapter in his or her life.

I pass though the gate, giving it no more thought.

The school is a large complex, organized in a fashion similar to the one of the hospital.

I am fairly certain I could find my way around this place with little effort.

That's depressing when you think about it.

I don't want to be able to navigate institutions like these.

At least the scenery looks pretty, with plenty of soothing green tones.

I walk the cobblestone path leading to the front door, immediately noticing the man waiting for me.

He is wearing a faded gray suit, basic black shoes, and a five day beard.

Still, his posture gives the impression of a laid-back kind of teacher, a mentor even.

He waves at me upon noticing my presence.

"Mikhail Tokarev, right?"

I'm surprised he pronounced my name perfectly.

My parents intentionally gave me a Russian name, and taught me the language.

By the time I was five, I was fluent in two languages. Three by the age of nine, four by now.

It's something I'm really proud of, but I don't dwell on it as much as I want to.

"Right."

He extends his arm, keeping the other in his pocket.

"You can call me Mutou, I'll be you science professor, in addition to being your homeroom teacher."

His grip is firm, but not too hard. It matches his posture perfectly.

He starts walking, but then changes his mind.

"Another thing, would you like to introduce yourself to the class?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

He smiles, and continues walking at a fairly slow pace.

They give you the choice to introduce yourself, huh? It makes sense, knowing that physical trauma rarely comes alone.

We make our way through the corridors and up the stairs.

It naturally takes me a while longer to climb up, but he seems unfazed, patiently waiting at the top.

Another set of plain corridors later, and we are in front of what I take will be my classroom.

He opens the door, setting up my introduction.

I step inside, immediately scanning my classmates.

A bandage, the occasional crutch or cane.

There is also a few regular looking students.

Mutou glares at me, frowning.

Oh, right.

Should I include the disease? Just so I don't have to repeat it every time someone asks me directly?

I decide against it.

"My name is Mikhail Tokarev, I'm Russian by origin. I'd say more, but it's so much more interesting to meet me directly."

The remark draws out the odd smile, but most remain neutral.

I'm pointed to my seat, and a short applause follows.

Since I've arrived fairly late, this is the last class of the day.

That doesn't stop it from being boring.

I look around, analyzing my classmates.

Three people catch my eye immediately:

Pink haired girl in the second row. Completely normal looking guy behind her. Purple haired girl in the back.

Ok, maybe the handless girl in the front too.

Before I can get into it any deeper, the bell rings, and Mutou sends me off to the Head Nurse, offering a bespectacled girl as my guide.

I politely refuse. I want to see if I was right about thinking that I could easily navigate.

Navigating through the crowds is a pain, but I eventually emerge into the yard.

Now to find the office.


	2. Act I, Chapter II: Fitting In

**Took a while longer to set this one up, so i don't go back and rewrite it a dozen times over.**

**A review would mean a lot, since i have no clue if i'm writing this right (and i'd really want to know).**

* * *

I step into the building.  
It's white walls immediately reveal its purpose.  
Indeed, i was able to find it on my own.  
Heading for the centermost office proves to be the right call, since the plate reads "Head Nurse".  
I knock, waiting for an answer.  
The door opens, revealing the young man inside.  
"Hello, could i see the head nurse?"  
His smile is too large for his face.  
"I'll be glad to see you."  
I stop.  
This young man is the head nurse?  
I didn't expect that.  
"I see..."  
I step inside, seating myself in the exam chair.  
"Mikhail, right? I'm the nurse, feel free to call me just that."  
"And if i want to know your real name?"  
"Then you are out of luck."  
He winks at me, still grinning like a child.  
The basic exam is finished in minutes, and he writes something down before handing me a pair of bottles.  
"Here you go. It's not medicine per se, but it could help. Take a couple with your meals."  
I quickly examine them.  
Vitamins, additions to food.  
I guess they couldn't hurt.  
"I'm here most of the time, and we have staff here 24/7, whatever you need, feel free to ask."  
I nod, waiting for him to continue.  
His grin fades, and his voice sounds a lot more serious.  
"Because of your condition, you will be getting a day off every once in a while to go get a full exam, so we can monitor its progress."  
I stand up, a smirk plastered on my face.  
"I'm okay with that."  
He grins again, slowly pushing me out of the office.  
"You always are."  
I walk out of the medical facility, stepping out into the fresh air.  
I take a few deep breaths, savoring the clean air that i'm still not used to.  
This school is on a hill, and surrounded by forest.  
The air is naturally far better than in the city.  
There is also a distinct lack of noise, aside from the chatter of students.  
By now, my room is ready.  
I should settle in.

* * *

The dorms look identical, but i manage to find the boys' dorms by luck alone.  
I search my pocket, pulling out the key Mutou gave me.  
It slowly turns in the lock, granting me access to what will be my residence for the following months.  
The room itself is as small as tolerable, with barely enough space for the desk, bed and wardrobe, without feeling claustrophobic.  
There are several school uniforms of my size hanging in the wardrobe.  
There's even a jacket.  
I unpack the stuff from my bags.  
Even with my stuff scattered about, the room still feels empty.  
I soon finish my homework, and step out, hoping to stretch my legs a bit before curfew starts.  
The moment i'm in the hall, i hear two of my hallmates chatting.  
I manage to catch some of it.  
"She was cute."  
The other guy starts mumbling some nonsense, and i walk up, noticing that the guy i heard is the one from class.  
"Yo."  
They both turn around, surprised to see someone else in the hall.  
My classmate's gaze darts from me to the other guy, then back again, never settling on one.  
The bespectacled guy is the first to speak up.  
"Dude, you don't just interrupt me like that!"  
He looks obviously annoyed.  
"The name is Mikhail Tokarev, wanted to introduce myself."  
He looks at me, or perhaps the other guy, i can't tell from the glasses, and utters a single question.  
"What's your favorite color?"  
I don't get it, but i decide to humor him.  
"Green."  
He smiles, apparently pleased with my response.  
"Cool, I'm Kenji, this is Hisao."  
Hisao just glares at him, before speaking up himself.  
"Hisao Nakai, we go to the same class."  
He's also new, it's written all over him.  
"Pleased to meet you. What are you guys up to?"  
Kenji interrupts.  
"I was just telling him about the dark movements that happens behind the curtains."  
For some reason, the two of us stay and listen to the entirety of his nonsense.  
He retreats to his room immediately after finishing, leaving us alone in the hallway.  
"That was interesting."  
"Yeah..."  
"Anyway, i guess i'll see you in class tomorrow."  
I stop by the showers before heading to my room.  
This is the first time i'll be sleeping anywhere aside from the hospital and my house since the accident.  
This is going to suck.  
I take a sleeping pill.  
Sleep overtakes me almost immediately.

My subconscious is a dark place.  
Ever since the accident, i dream of walking it every night.  
I know i have to get to the end.  
I run, but my body doesn't listen.  
The floor disappears, and i fall down.  
Deeper and deeper into the darkness.  
I can't get out. My body is like a coffin.  
I'm trapped, unable to do anything except watch as the last shapes disappear into the black blur.  
I want to scream. I can't.  
I know it's only a dream, but it feels so real.  
What if one morning i wake to find out that i'm trapped in a motionless body.  
What if my eyes refuse to open? Or if my lungs stop working in the middle of the night?  
The thought is terrifying.

* * *

Light.  
My eyes open, instantly forced to squint because of the bright ray of sunshine.  
I'm awake, alive and well.  
As much as i can be.  
These nighttime episodes are an everyday occurrence since the accident.  
It's been a while since i've had a good night's rest.  
I push the thoughts aside, heading for the shower early.  
The blast of hot water does wonders with clearing my head.  
I put my new uniform on, heading out early.  
There's almost an hour until class begins.  
The trek from the dorms to the school is a short one, but there's more than enough staircases to make up for it,  
I arrive into the same small hall i met Mutou in.  
It's very spacious indeed, drawing my gaze upwards.  
From here, one could see streams of students moving from every floor if there were any students to see.  
I start walking, still staring upwards.  
Most fascinating are the wide windows at the top, the ones that supply most of the building's light.  
The white glow coming from them is mesmerizing.  
As i walk absentmindedly, i fail to notice the slim figure i inevitably collide with.  
My body fails to balance itself, and i fall down, hitting my head in the process.  
I open my eyes, staring into the grayish blur i take is the ceiling.  
Suddenly, a girl's voice is heard.  
"If i wore a skirt, you'd be a pervert."  
My vision is still a bit blurry, but i can tell that the figure standing there is wearing a boy's uniform.  
I turn, trying to peel my rebellious body off of the floor.  
"Could you give me a hand?"  
"No, i could not."  
A shiver goes though my arms, and they lose all strength, sending me crashing into the floor again.  
Curse this witch of a woman.  
Not enough that she knocked me down, but she finds it amusing to watch me struggling to get up.  
Whoever she is, she will feel my wrath.  
I take a deep breath, focusing all my strength into getting up.  
It pays off, and i'm upright, albeit facing away from the bitch.  
I turn around, and all my rage disappears.  
She couldn't give me a hand, i can see why.  
She literally has no hand to give.  
Her arms end in stumps just below the elbows, leaving over half the sleeves empty.  
She stares at me for a few seconds before speaking.  
"It takes you a very long time to get up."  
It's a most keen observation.  
"Yeah, it has something to do with hitting my head on the floor and my goddamn condition."  
Her eyebrows elevate ever so slightly.  
"What condition?"  
The manner and tone of her speech...  
She's confused.  
The last grains of hostility fade from me.  
"I'm sorry, but i don't know if i want to tell that to a girl whose name i don't know."  
She nods, taking a step backwards.  
"I'm Rin Tezuka, i lack arms."  
As if to accent that, she flops her sleeves around a bit.  
The sight is both sad and amusing.  
This girl is undefined as a whole.  
It's the most striking thing about her.  
Her mannerisms are amusing though.  
I decide to answer out of pity.  
"Alright then, I'm Mikhail Tokarev, i suffer from Parkinson's disease."  
She keeps staring at me.  
"What's that?"  
For real?  
This girl is completely lost.  
"Basically, i keep getting slower. Later in life, my body stops listening to my mind."  
Her expression morphs into one of sadness.  
"So it takes you a long time to get up. I'll try to reduce the amount of collisions with you in the future."  
Can this girl be consistent for a minute?  
One moment she's confused, the next friendly, and then just plain indifferent.  
It's freaking annoying.  
"Dammit, who are you?"  
She looks at me with a lost expression.  
"I just told you. I'm Rin Tezuka. You can call me Rin."  
I can't believe this...  
My lips curve into the largest, stupidest smile.  
It impossible someone can have their head so high in the clouds.  
Yet here she is.  
This collage of a personality is oddly charming.  
Most likely, she's completely oblivious to that as well.  
The odd student walks by, paying us little mind.  
It means class is starting soon.  
"This isn't over. I'll see you around Rin."  
She doesn't respond, apparently content with staring at me as i walk away, heading for my classroom.


	3. Act I, Chapter III: School Friends

**Been a while since i got around to publishing this. Couldn't forgive myself if i just let this stay unfinished. The next one might take more time, since i have to rewrite the entire chapter for continuity's sake.**

* * *

I'm second to make it to the classroom. The purple-haired girl beat me to it.

Conversation starts with the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Delinquent is first in class?"

She looks up, staring with eyes wide open. I'm torn between labeling it as fear or murderous intent. Still maintaining that gaze, she stands up, slowly moving towards me. I instinctively move backwards.

The moment my back touches the wall, she lunges forward. My arms shoot upwards to defend, but the girl dashes out the door instead of assaulting me.

Maybe she isn't a delinquent…

Before I can ponder it any further, a pair of girls walk into the classroom, looking completely unfazed by the girl dashing out.

One has dark hair, and wears glasses. The weight of her gaze is immediately felt. Her friend, on the other hand, radiates a positive vibe. The pink drills are awesome as well.

"Uh, hi."

I mentally facepalm upon realizing how stupid that must have looked. They only make it worse by staring at me as if I'm an alien.

"Bwahahaha~!"

The pink haired girl erupts into a laugh worthy of a dozen people.

I stand there silently, stunned both by the volume of her laugh, and by her companion's cold glare.

"There sure is a lot of new students these days, huh Shiccan?"

Her hands move parallel to her words. They are talking in sign. It's been too long since I saw someone do that.

I miss her.

More motion drags me out of my thoughts, back into reality.

[He looks spirited.]

That's the first impression I give away?

[What was his name again?]

"Just in case you forgot, I'm Mikhail Tokarev."

They both smile.

"Micchan it is! I'm Misha, and this is Shizune!"

She extends her arms upwards and to the side , trying to show off everything behind her.

"Welcome to Yamaku!"

[Come on, don't overdo it.]

"Thanks…"

The short haired girl glares at me with a expression of disappointment. Her fingers dance across the tabletop as she gathers her 'words'. A few moments later, she turns to her friend, a determined expression on her face.

[Tell him that I think he's cute.]

The other girl looks at her in amazement, then at me. I stare at both of them, totally unfazed by her request. I wonder what part of me finds this ordinary.

"Really? You do?"

[Not really, but I want to see his reaction.]

"Oh…Okay!"

The variation in tone gives away her disappointment, but she turns to me anyway, looking as serious as she can given the circumstance. She probably doesn't even notice the wide smile she's sporting.

"Michhan, you are a very lucky person."

"How so?"

"Shicchan here thinks you're cute."

I look over at Shizune, who looks dead serious.

Stepping forward, I reduce the distance between the two of us to a mere few centimeters. My legs shuffle a bit, but I calm them down. Can't waste an opportunity like this one. My gaze locks at her dark blue eyes, ignoring the plastic frame and glass. She actually has very pretty eyes.

I give my best sly smile before I run my hand through her hair. Her calm appearance is betrayed by the redness of her cheeks.

Her eyes dart towards her friend, a expression of complete panic taking over. She moves her hands to the side, making a few swift gestures.

[Make him stop.]

The moment I feel the other girl's hand on my back, I lean backwards, placing almost a meter between us.

"What? I thought you like me."

Yet again do I give the sly smile.

Misha's hands dance in the air, translating my words.

Staring in confusion at first, Shizune quickly locks me down with eyes full of rage.

[Does he think that that's funny!?]

The pink haired girl tries to give a faint smile, turning again towards me.

[I most certainly do.]

Both of them freeze, their faces bearing looks of utter confusion.

The classroom is almost full by now, with the exception of the purple haired girl. I also notice Hisao and a guy with burns over his face staring at the three of us. I wonder how long have they been looking.

"Micchan, you know sign?"

[No, my answering in sign was a complete fluke.] I try to complement my answer with an appropriate facial expression.

Shizune stares at me with incredible intensity, not moving at all. Those few seconds seem like an eternity.

Suddenly, her hands start cutting through the air.

[Please keep this between the three of us. My joke backfired.]

[Sure thing, but you owe me.]

She crosses her arms, exhaling loudly. I don't really need a translator to understand that gesture.

I'd very much like to keep pressing my advantage, but Mutou's sudden appearance, and the frown on his face that popped up the moment he noticed me and Shizune standing across from each other, signal me that I should head for my seat. I proceed to do so, but not before I flash the girls one more winning smile.

The moment I'm in my chair, I notice both Hisao and the other guy giving me a thumbs up.

* * *

"…As you all know, that means we have some group work ahead."

Mutou swiftly divides the class into groups with only motions of his hand. Shizune and Misha end up with a fair skinned guy; I end up with Hisao and a girl named Miki.

There was an awkward silence after our initial introductions, so I shifted my focus to the paper in front of me. It's easy stuff, but physics are very exhausting work.

After going over the results one last time, I lift my gaze eyes only to see Miki staring at me. Well, not exactly. It was more like _through_ me.

"What's your problem?"

She doesn't respond.

Hisao does, immediately reacting to the change in atmosphere. This guy is either still shocked from arriving, or just very good at sensing people's feelings.

Hmm…

My attention drifts away from Hisao and Miki, focusing on the most important subject. I must ask myself. Am I still shocked? Am I holding back?

Unlikely. This scene with Shizune and Misha is about as me as it gets.

I come to again, with Miki still staring at me.

"Seriously, what gives?"

Unflinching, she takes a breath before answering me.

"Why are you at this school?" Her head slowly tilts to the side, her eyes still staring at whatever they're staring at.

"That's straightforward." The response comes out sounding completely calm, to my slight relief.

I don't want to let her feel like she has the upper hand.

She just shrugs.

"I'm a straightforward kind of girl."

I somehow doubt that. That aside, how should I answer? Does dodging the question give away fear or plain unease? Can answering be seen as acceptance?

To hell with it.

"Parkinson's"

She smirks, hands in her pockets. She's wearing a boy's uniform, which is odd, since she has no reason to. That reminds me, I have to find Rin later, we have unfinished business.

"Bullshit, that's a disease of the mind."

And Yamaku is for students with physical disabilities.

"And which limb is Misha missing then?" Refusing to let her win, I push the conversation into dangerous territory.

She looks at me for the first time, her eyebrows rising slightly.

"That's no answer."

With that said, her expression changes back into one of strange pride. Does this girl think she's got me cornered? Why does it matter so much?

"I'm not lying, I have Parkinson's, despite my age. My family is a benefactor, that's probably a reason why they let me come here with such a disease."

The prideful looks fades, replaced by one of total neutrality.

"Oh, ok then."

And that's where it ends. Not one word more. She just provoked me into giving her info, and i fell for it. I feel like a idiot.

Luckily, Mutou arrives soon, saying that time's up.

He smiles as he scans through our papers, looking at Hisao moments after.

The bell rings, a handful of students dashing out before I even notice.

Lunch with Misha and Shizune is out of the question, and Hisao seems to be intent on tagging along with them. I don't know anyone else though.

Wonder if I can have lunch on the roof...


	4. Act I, Chapter IV: Twintails and Glasses

**Another chapter, another character. Excuse me for the poor formatting, but i don't know how to handle fanfiction's format tools (if any exist), and i'm not in the mood for using openoffice.**

**As for the story, the lack of feedback is killing me (props to Abyss, who's kind enough to offer valuable advice), and i'm still torn with the pairing. **

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

The hallways buzz with the familiar hum of students walking to and fro.

I ask some girl about the roof as I pass her by. I indeed can eat on the roof, but it's not as popular a place as it is in other, regular schools.  
Since rooftops are usually placed higher, I'm forced to go upstairs, which is a major pain.  
I don't even bother to count how many times my foot lags behind and I end up stubbing a toe against the step.  
After a while, I arrive at what seems to be the door I'm looking for.  
The lock's busted, and the door itself seems to have seen better days.  
There isn't any point to turning the knob, but I do it anyway out of habit.

Pushing the door, I step onto the roof.  
After recovering from the sudden light, I gaze upwards.  
There is the occasional white puff, but it's mostly a clear blue sky.

The best thing about eating on rooftops is the view. It takes your mind off of anything bothersome.

It's a very meditative environment.  
Looking back down, I notice a girl sitting at the corner table, staring at me.  
Our eyes meet, and she appears stunned for a moment before greeting me with a wave of the hand.  
She's sporting twintails, and a worried expression. Otherwise, there is no hint to her disability.

I guess I found my lunchmate.  
"Mind if I join you?"  
"Did you see a girl with short red hair on your way up?"  
Truth be told, there was no one on the last floor, since everybody went outside or to the cafeteria.  
"Maybe, but I'm not sure."  
She sighs, staring at her half-eaten lunch, then back at me, all the while mumbling to herself.  
"Slim, green eyes, no arms."  
Could it be? Two such girls being in the same school is kind of a longshot.  
"I didn't see Rin, I'm sorry."  
Her eyebrows shoot upwards at the mention of her name.  
"Oh, you met her? Even though you're new here?"  
Oh, so word gets around here same as any other school.  
"Indeed, I am new. Mikhail Tokarev, at your service."

Her worried look subsides, revealing a devilish grin.  
"That introduction was so lame."  
And that reply stings. Can't believe I still say things like that.

"..."  
"Shut up."  
She giggles whole heartedly. That kind of laugh seems to suit her.

With the worried look gone, she looks far cuter.

Kenji was right, there's really a lot of cute girls in this school.  
"I'm Emi, Emi Ibarazaki."  
After that, neither says a thing, so we shift attention to our meals.  
Most guys I know can't eat as fast as this particular girl.  
Since watching her eat quickly becomes boring, and could give the wrong impression, I start with my own food.  
It's the usual fish with rice. Saying that I prefer Russian cuisine would be an understatement to say the least.

But food is food, and I'm at least eating with a fork.  
Surprisingly, people don't pester me with proper Japanese behavior. I guess looking foreign is enough for most to let that slide.

Chewing my last bit of fish, I focus on my lunchmate.  
The worried look is back, and with it the frown. She and Rin must be close if she gets this upset about her.  
As for myself, I feel completely calm. It's like all the angst of being in a new school just faded away.  
Nothing really noteworthy happened, aside from the stint with Shizune.  
Once my meal's done, I kick back, stretching.  
"Worried about Rin?"  
She nods, the worried look once again on her face.  
"What's the worst thing that can happen?"  
She looks up at me, smirking. This girl can really quickly shift moods.  
"She could get in a fight."  
"That'd be a sight to see."  
"Tornado Kicks!"  
We laugh.  
Emi is incredibly easy to talk to since it's mostly jokes and light topics.  
She does shoot the occasional jab my way, but they're far friendlier in tone than Shizune's.

Then again, it's remarkable that Shizune's jabs have tone.

Emi is the kind of person that dictates the mood in a group.

I could totally see Rin laughing just because Emi laughs.  
"So, you seem to know Rin. What's she like?"

Her expression changes to a puzzled one. "That's impossible to describe. She's...her."  
"And here I feared the answer would be vague."

She sticks her tongue out in response.

"Don't be childish."

She just keeps doing it.

"You're hopeless."

* * *

We end up spending the entire lunch break idling about in the roof, talking about this and that.  
I manage to dodge an invitation for a morning run.  
Soon enough, the bells ring, and Emi gets ready to leave. As she stands up, she bangs her leg against the side of the table. Instead of an exclamation of pain, I hear a metallic noise.

"Hey, are you ok?"

She smiles, going red in the face. "Uh, ouch?"

Before I can speak, she darts off, hastily saying goodbye in the process.

So it's something with her legs. I'll ask her next time.

I should understand people being a bit on edge around the topic of their disabilities, but I really don't.

Your disability becomes part of you; not a defining part, but still an important one.

Denying its existence is ridiculous, it's there to stay (for most of us).

As for me? Doing my best to live how I want despite the disease shouldn't be too hard.

Now I regret refusing that run. Emi is class 3-4 I think, I'll look there after class.

I need to prove that I can do it.  
After talking my body into getting up, I head back as well.  
Going downstairs is a bigger pain than climbing up.  
If any part of me lags, I tumble. Double checking if your own leg moved is unnatural, but I'll get used to it.

The doctors did say something about remission, but I don't think this thing is even going to get better.

It's kind of depressing, so I try not to think about it anymore.  
Naturally, I'm the last one to arrive back in class.  
The purple haired girl has returned as well.  
I ignore Shizune's disapproving look, heading straight to my seat.

The generally happy feeling of having finished school is quickly overpowered by boredom.

I'm at 3-4's door. Emi isn't there. Someone tells me to head for the track, and I listen.  
The sun is surprisingly low when I step outside, and the sky is tinted that sunset apricot color.  
The sky seems prettier here than in the big city. Or maybe I just notice it more.

As promised, there is a short figure running laps around the track.

Getting closer, I can hear a rhythmic clanking. It's not exactly what I heard on the roof, but it's similar.

Seating myself on the bleachers, I focus on the running girl. Her real legs end just below the knee. From that point, there is a metallic prosthesis that looks more like a spring than a limb. It's probably specially designed for running.

Leave it to someone like Emi to make running their hobby when they don't have legs.

I patiently wait for her to take notice of me and approach. She does so after three laps.

"Mikhail? What are you doing here?"

"I changed my mind about the running."

"Great, I'll see you tomorrow then. Just don't give up as quickly as the other guy."

"I won't make any promises."

We part ways soon after that. It's getting late, and mostly everyone is either at club activities or in town.

Since I'm not in the mood for either, I head to my room.  
Just before the dorms, something catches my eye.  
A mural, a work in progress. Sharp contrasts, and an abstract style.

It seems to portray a person, except that parts of that person are scattered all over the wall, loosely forming a whole. Maybe it represents the chaos and divide in a person, or maybe it's supposed to look pretty.

Still, it's interesting, colorful. Most likely that it's being made for the upcoming festival.

Guess I'll check on it then.

* * *

The second I step into the hallway, I catch sight of the ever-vigilant Kenji.  
He seems even more nervous than the last time I saw him, just standing in the hall like that.  
"Mikhail."  
And here I thought I could sneak past a (legally) blind man.  
In his state, he's as likely to pounce at me as he is to calmly let me pass.  
Listening to his rant, waiting for an opening is the only thing I can think of.  
"At least you got my invitation."  
"What invitation?"  
He frowns, tugging at the edge of his scarf.  
"The one I sent about the hallmates meeting."  
He appears to think for a few seconds before adding:  
"You're new, that's why they didn't intercept your invitation."  
Aside from him and Hisao, there isn't anyone else in this hall.  
"So who's missing?"  
He frowns again, and the tugging intensifies.  
"Hisao and Casper, they're MIA."  
It's the first time I hear about the other guy.  
Still, if Kenji takes over the conversation, it's curtains.  
"Dude."  
He jumps at that, clenching his fists, stunned with the fact that it's possible to interrupt him.  
From here, I have two options: run away, or mess with him.  
I choose the latter.  
"You're getting careless, man."  
He adjusts his glasses, apparently giving me his full attention. I don't think that happens often.  
"You trust the three of us, but on what grounds? Who's to say we aren't double agents? You made yourself wide open. You can't stop the conspiracy like that."  
He stares at me for an entire minute.  
I don't move, frozen by both his stare, and surprise over my own zeal in talking to him.  
His madness can rub off on people. Trying to mess with him was a bad idea.  
"That's deep." He says, still staring intently.  
" I know, right?"  
He nods, placing his hands in his pockets, leaning back.  
"See you around bro."  
"Ok..."  
Just like that, it's over.  
The moment he's out of sight, I dash to my room, locking the door behind me.  
Today was a really weird day. Still, unlike yesterday, it feels normal. Like it's the real me.  
Why didn't it feel like that from the start?

The homework's done, and it's curfew.  
I checked in with both mom and dad.  
They try to sound worried, but their voices alone are enough to tell that they trust me to find my own way.  
I'm torn between being happy for the fact they trust me that much, and being worried that they don't see my absence as a big deal.

Already showered, double-checked homework. The only thing left to do is sleep.  
I hate that.  
I pop another pill, closing my eyes. Sleep takes me momentarily.

* * *

I once again open my eyes to the dark abyss I came to call my subconscious.

Expecting to be pulled in, I try closing my eyes, but nothing happens.

I don't fall, I don't close my eyes. Just staring into an infinite emptiness, listening to silence.

What is my mind trying to tell me?

That I'm empty? That The world around me is empty? That My future doesn't exist?

I don't want to see this anymore. I can't endure this every night.


	5. Act I, Chapter V: Things We Do

**One last character, and most likely, the pairing. Since winter holidays are here, i'll be unable to post new chapters for a while, but i'll finish act I when i return.**

**For the purposes of the story, i had to retype some of the text from the original scene, but i'll make sure it's a one time thing.**

**Also, thanks for the reviews, they help with both technique and motivation. That's all, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

I wake up at first light. Glancing at the clock, I confirm that it's five AM. God, I feel tired.

I rub my eyes, flinging the sheets aside. My head is throbbing. It's an overall terrible feeling.

Hopefully, a hot shower will help dispel what remains of my nightmares from my mind.

The blast of hot water, aided by the mesmerizing dancing of steam wisps, indeed helps.

Whoever said showering clears the mind was a brilliant man.

I return to my room feeling much better.

Opening the window confirms that it's a chilly morning, so I get changed to my tracksuit.

It's a old one, with a slightly faded olive green color. I don't remember where I got it, but it's been my only tracksuit for years.

My gaze floats over my table. The food additions are still there, only barely broached.

Some people here trust their lives in what's inside bottles like these.

The thought is depressing, so I banish it from my mind. Can't be dark this early.

Going on this morning run will allow me to get to know Emi a bit better, and more importantly, prove that I can overcome this body of mine.

And since I'm up this early, it'll be fun to see Emi arriving second to her own run.

* * *

Morning fog covers the track, but I get warmed up nonetheless.

I start running, immediately feeling unsure about my step.

Soon, my left leg fails to listen, and I fall down, slamming against the track.

Most people would find this very moment the breaking point. Do or Die.

Not me. The moment I opened my eyes this morning was the moment I made the decision.

This is something I _need_ to do.

Peeling myself off of the still slightly moist floor, I start running again.

It doesn't matter how many times I have to fall. As long as I run, I'll be ok.

*THUD*

My knee hurts, but it's just reacting to the impact. There is more strength in my arms when I push myself up, I even do it in good time.

After my second lap, I hear a rhythmic clanking sound approaching me from behind.

Click-clack, click-clack.

"Hey Mikhail!"

She catches up, and I immediately notice the source of the obnoxious sound.

Her legs end below the knee.

A running prosthesis, the kind you see in the occasional pseudo-heartwarming TV movie, continues from that point, producing the sound each time it hits the ground.

I pry my eyes away from them, meeting Emi's gaze.

"You're late."

She frowns slightly, steadily going forward.

It takes a lot of willpower go running every morning when you lack legs. Or maybe you just have to be stubborn enough.

"I thought you would be late, you looked the type."

I smirk, struggling to stay upright.

"Don't underestimate me."

She doesn't respond, instead running faster, quickly taking the lead.

"Oh no you won't!"

*THUD*

This is ridiculous.

I once again get up, slowly feeling the toll of the accumulated falls. The clacking has stopped, and I see Emi standing, looking slightly scared.

"I'm ok."

My voice is stable, even though my arms are shaking as they try to support me as I stand up.

"It affects your motor capabilities?"

The tone of her voice is completely different, being one of a serious, worried woman instead of one of a cute girl.

"That's close enough."

She appears unresponsive to my answer, again speaking in the same odd tone.

"Maybe it's enough for today."

"Yeah, sure."

Her expression turns back to normal, and she walks me to the bleachers.

"You don't have to do this you know."

"I'll see you tomorrow morning."

She smiles, her voice back to the usual chipper tone.

"And you say I'm hopeless."

I return to the dorms, taking another shower and changing into my uniform before joining the stream of students heading for the main building.

In the end, the only thing I learned about Emi is that she is serious about health. She'll probably make a great mom.

* * *

Students here are marginally louder than in a regular school. But I guess that's natural in a place like this.

We're all people. That much I've realized.

I'm no more different from someone like Miki or Rin as I am from one of my old classmates.

My thoughts get interrupted by a loud snap of the fingers.

It's Shizune, but she's alone, which is surprising.

[Where's your friend?]

[I don't know, she disappeared last night.]

Noticing I sidetracked her, she frowns, taking a second to focus again.

[Anyway, I need your help.]

[No.]

She crosses her arms, obviously annoyed by my instant rejection. There's something about Shizune that makes teasing interesting.

[At least let me say it.]

I lean back in my seat, gesturing for her to continue.

[I need an inventory list delivered.]

[Done.]

She looks lost, adjusting her glasses.

[What? But you just refused.]

[What kind of a knight would I be if I refuse to help a damsel in distress?]

I was never taught how to sign "damsel", so I just used "lady" and hoped she'd get it out of context.

Luckily, she does, as indicated by her smile.

[You're a nice guy.]

[Thank you.]

After briefing me on the importance of my mission, she walks away, her hands behind her back.

The folder on my table reads "music room". I place it in my bag.

I may have just been tricked into doing more work for them, but I really don't care.

Helping a cute girl is bound to pay off at some point.

Mutou walks in, shooting me a surprised look. I don't get the opportunity to ask him about it since he starts handing out assignments immediately.

I give up, burying my head in the book on my table. The day will be over sooner or later.

* * *

Turns out sooner was the right answer, since I'm already standing in the middle of the hall, beating myself for not asking for directions when there were students here.

Now everybody is gone, doing this or that.

I walk the hallways, folder in my arms, wondering where the hell is the damn music room.

After dropping the folder for the fourth time, I decide it's best to put it back in the bag.

As I finish walking up a flight of stairs, my ears pick up the sound of strings.

The school band must be practicing now. Excellent.

I'm surprised to see a tall, blonde girl leaning against the wall in the hallway, gently rocking her head in tune to the music.

Her eyes are closed, and there is a gentle smile on her lips. I don't hesitate with greeting her.

"Hey there."

She doesn't even flinch, her eyes still closed tight.

"Shh. Let's listen."

Her voice is as melodic as the music she is trying to listen to.

It's a string quartet, or maybe even a quintet. They are playing something original.

I'm not very knowledgeable about classical music, especially with strings.

But this sounds good, and I hear why the girl is standing there.

I also close my eyes, leaning against the same wall.

Music is a great thing.

I'm sorry for Shizune. Because of something she had no power over, she'll never be able to experience something like this.

And this something sounds really good.

I indulge my ears for a while longer, but soon the music stops.

"Ah, sorry about that, I get carried away when they play."

Her eyes are still closed.

She straightens her posture, pulling a white cane from her bag. Guess that means…

"I don't recognize the voice, would you please?"

"Oh, I'm Mikhail Tokarev, 3-3."

"Pleasure to meet you Mikhail, I'm Lilly Satou of 3-2."

She seems very calm and polite. I don't think I've met anyone as relaxed as this girl.

"Do you like music?"

The question comes out of the blue, but I'm quick to respond.

"Yeah, I guess you do as well."

She smiles, opening her eyes.

"Good guess."

Her eyes are a beautiful bright blue color, but they seem cloudy.

She really shouldn't keep her eyes closed all the time.

"Anyway, I'm just here to drop off some papers."

"Oh don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

I nod, immediately realizing how pointless the gesture is.

I walk inside, handing the folder to the nearest student.

After watching her nod at the folder in her hands, I bid them farewell and step back out.

"So what are you doing here? Classes are over."

"I'm waiting for a friend, I promised her I'd meet her here after class."

"Oh, well…I guess I'll see you around then."

Did I just?

"Dammit, sorry."

She giggles, placing her hand in front of her mouth.

"Don't worry, the same thing happens to every new student. It's really no bother."

Well, I still feel like an idiot.

"Yeah, well, goodbye."

She giggles again, probably at the combination of shame and annoyance in my voice.

How could I be so stupid? The answer evades me even as I walk through the exit.

* * *

The afternoon sun is still shining, but lacking anything better to do, I head for the dorms.

I guess I'd be able to catch Emi on the track about now, but aside from that, I'm stuck for ideas.

Nearing the dorms, I notice a figure standing around that mural, walking to and fro.

It's Tezuka.

"Long time no see."

"Hello Mikhail."

Her ability to recognize a voice she heard once is impeccable.

"You looking at the mural?"

"I'm painting it."

"…"

Paint cans are scattered along the edges of the wall. There's also a bucket with brushes of various shapes and sizes. But the thing that should have given it away are her green-colored feet.

"I can't believe it."

She turns around, staring at me blankly.

"Really, look."

She picks up the brush, drawing out a long green line along some shape.

"Ok, ok…"

Dammit. I guess I'm not as used to this as I should be. And that's embarrassing.

Her perfectly still expression helps little. Let's try this again.

"Hey Rin."

"Hello Mikhail."

"Need help with that mural?"

"Sure."

I never planned on doing this, but helping her is the only thing that could redeem me in my own eyes.

She walks over to an open can of paint, pointing at it with her foot.

"Help me mix more of this."

I go about the tedious work of mixing paint.

Mixing is hard enough with my body, and Rin being a very hard customer makes it no easier.

On the plus side, I get to witness the extraordinary sight of her painting.

She maneuvers with her feet as nimbly as any other person would with their hands.

It must be difficult working alone like that, but if it's a strain on her, it doesn't show.

She just occasionally stretches, far beyond I've ever seen anyone stretch.

Rin has a talent for stretching, and she's not half bad with that brush.

Stroke by stroke, one of the disfigured faces of the murals comes to life.

Her style is vivid, bright and colourful. The total opposite of her manner of speech and behavior.

At some point, she stops, just staring at the face she just created.

It's not a usual stare. It's like she's consciously trying to tune out anything that isn't that red screaming face.

"Snap out of it."

She turns around, switching the target of her stare to me. However, she says nothing, maintaining her silence.

"What?"

"I'm thinking."

Just as she says that, she frowns, then looks upwards.

As if that thought flew out of her head and she wants to see where it'll go.

"About what?"

She smiles slightly, leaning against a dry part of the wall.

"There's this boy."

"A boy?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"One in the art club."

Rin doesn't seem to be the type to keep a crush, and if she did, why tell me of all people?

Still, I'm interested, so I push the conversation forward.

"What about him?"

"He's blind."

"That makes art kind of difficult, doesn't it?"

"Maybe. I'm not blind, so I can't say."

"So why's he there?"

"That's the point, he's there."

This boy of hers seems like a guy seriously out of place.

"You'd think he can't make anything one would call art, right? But he comes and paints anyway."

"Well, is he any good at least?"

"I think his work is interesting."

This conversation is going nowhere, and Rin's attitude isn't helping.

"That aside, what's the point of it?"

She blinks at me, looking lost for a few seconds. I get the feeling she has to put her thoughts on fast-forward when talking to someone as impatient as myself.

"That boy is interesting."

"And that's what you were thinking about."

"Maybe I'm like that boy, or maybe you are. Maybe everyone is."

"In what way?"

"Doing things you can't do , just because you can."

"…"

Talking to Rin puts you in a state of mental alertness. Or maybe it's her effect on me.

Anyway, I'm more focused when talking to her. The me from fifteen minutes ago wouldn't give this much attention.

I am that boy, Rin is too.

I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be doing anything.

The disease takes your own body from you.

And yet I go for a morning run, go climbing stairs, go mixing paints.

She probably has no clue as to how deep those words go.

"You're brilliant."

"Not really, people tell me I'm a thoughtless and shallow person."

"Those people didn't hear this."

"Did you know I can only think of four things at once?"

"What?"

"Right now, I'm thinking of perfume, the festival, talking to you and a haircut. I need a haircut."

She shakes her head wildly, and her hair flies all over. The silly smile gives away how much she likes doing that.

I'm still a little dumbfounded by her words.

Doing something you shouldn't be able to do, out of sheer spite or stubbornness.

I like that, I'll give it more thought.

"I'm hungry."

This girl is the absolute master of saying random things.

"Want to get something to eat?"

"No, not yet."

"Then why mention it?"

"I felt that it had to be mentioned. Like when they say it's raining on the forecast even though the rain was the first thing you see when you wake up."

Is she implying that her hunger is visible, or is necessary to express?

She says nothing further, just staring at her wall in silence.

Silence is very common around this girl. Her preferred state of things.

Rin's silences seem to bear significance. And six months of hospitalization made sure silence is something I'm used to.

"One thing I have to ask before I go."

"Which one?"

She isn't sporting her usual confused expression, but rather a satisfied smirk.

I have no clue what's on this girl's mind, and I don't think I'd be strong enough to know.

"Why are you doing this mural now?"

"For the festival, teacher's friends will come and see it."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you around then."

"At the festival?"

"No, anytime."

"Ok. Bye."

I watch her as her toes pick the brush up again, before moving towards the surface of the wall.

I'm stuck with one thought as I return to my dorm room.

Rin Tezuka is a really interesting girl.


	6. Act I, Chapter VI: Thinking

**Lot of stuff happened since the last chapter, so it took a while to get back to this.**

**Knowing how KS itself came to existing, it's really fun to see fanfictions brought together, if only for small parts. I hope you share my opinion.  
**

**Anyway, the pairing is defined, but there's one more character i really want in the story, so she'll be introduced in the next chapter.  
**

* * *

It's a thin edge I'm standing on and it's shrinking. With every passing moment, I'm just a bit closer to the end.

The darkness is still there, awaiting its prey.

It whispers, taunts and threatens, anything to get me closer. But nothing happens.

I stand frozen in this body, staring at the abyss.

It rages like a hurricane, howling and shrieking. Its black tendrils shoot towards me.

Again, nothing happens. I don't move, and nothing changes.

Yet I'm afraid.

The darkness is calling out, and I don't know what will happen when it finally gets me.

* * *

My breath is steady as I wake up. I squint at the white glow coming from my window.

The nightmare wails in my mind, but I silence it. It's morning, and I'm in control now.

I sit up, rubbing my temples. It wasn't a good night's sleep, but at least I'm not waking up with a headache.

A glance at the clock confirms that I have more than enough time to hit the showers.

I'm about to look at the bed again, but something inside of me stops me.

What good does dwelling on it do?

I head for the showers.

For my time here, I was always alone in the showers.

That's odd, since a school like this is bound to have at least some students that suffer from insomnia or the like.

I guess I just didn't run into those yet.

My thoughts go mute when I'm hit by the first blast of hot water.

Watching droplets condense on the glass panel cleanses my mind, allowing me to think from a calmer perspective.

Bad dreams don't bother me. They're a nuisance, but it's only for as long as they last.

This morning routine usually clears my head.

What bothers me is that with each passing day, I'm less the guy I was six months ago.

There's still the occasional jab or joke, but I'm much less prone to arguments.

It's been a while since I saw an ice rink, and I didn't even think of playing when I was in the music room.

Stuff that was important suddenly isn't after half a year's time in a hospital bed.

The people I called friends wouldn't believe that this is who I've become.

Change is unavoidable, so I just shrug.

I head back to my room.

As I change into my tracksuit, I notice the pill bottles aligned on the table.

I reach across the table, taking the water bottle, and two of the pill bottles. Not bothering to read the label, I wash down a couple of pills with a sip of water.

Returning the bottles to their places, I can't help but think about them.

Being reminded every morning that a part of you is broken is a good thing, or a bad one?

Does knowing that your heart might stop because you forgot to take a pill make you live your life a bit more? Or does it just remind you of the inevitable end?

Either way, it reminds you. That counts for something.

* * *

It's sunny outside. Yesterday's fog is nowhere to be seen.

I walk past the mural, seeing that it's mostly finished, save a few white blots.

What's more interesting, one of Rin's sandals is still here.

If I were to guess, I'd say she fell asleep working late, and that someone from the staff carried her to her room.

I pick up the sandal, placing it in my bag, I'll give it to Emi.

Luckily, she's already there when I arrive at the track.

"No way, you came back!"

I shoot her a glare.

"I said that you shouldn't underestimate me."

She giggles, walking up, before sitting next to me.

"Your commitment is your redeeming quality."

I can't find a better response than sticking out my tongue.

She responds in kind, sitting up and heading for the track.

A short stretch later, I'm somewhere between a run, and trying to stay upright.

I've given up on speed, instead focusing on my balance. Every time I feel that something's wrong, I push myself harder.

It ends up looking like running.

The rhythmic clacking sound approaches from the back. She's about to lap me. Again.

"Decided not to fall today, huh?"

"Yeah."

I try moving faster. It's hard to describe how it feels when you have to push yourself to control your own body.

It's exhausting.

After what seems like at least a dozen laps, we finally stop.

"Hey Emi, could you give this to Rin?" I ask, holding out the sandal.

"Why not give it to her yourself?"

"I don't know, you'll see her sooner."

She flashes a sly smile, standing up with her arms crossed.

"I can't do it."

Then something hits me.

She passed by the same mural when she came to the track. If she wanted to take it, she could've done so already.

Realizing that I'm destined to return the damn sandal, I give up immediately, heading back to my room.

* * *

Mutou is nowhere to be seen, and I'm pretty sure I arrived on time.

The classroom is mostly full, but there is few students available for smalltalk.

Shizune and Misha are in a heated discussion about pre-festival council work, so I don't bother chatting them up.

Miki is talking to one of her friends, so she's out of the picture as well.

Hisao is asleep. A part of me justifies waking him up with conversation, but I still hesitate to do it.

Messing up his morning so I can talk to him seems to be a weak excuse.

He's not the only one though, as there's a girl doing the same a few desks in front of him.

Giving one last try, I look around the entire class, finding one person as bored as I am.

He's the guy from a few days ago, the one who watched my stunt with Shizune along with Hisao.

Aside from Hisao, I didn't quite communicate with guys in my class.

I mean, there's the usual meaningless chatter, but not one of them was interesting enough to make remembering the name worthwhile.

"Hey."

"Hey."

His tone of voice is even, familiarly accented, and a bit absent. He's most likely of the sort that gets completely lost in their thoughts.

Come to think of it, he looks foreign as well. It's kind of annoying that I only noticed that now.

"So, what's your story?"

"Before or after I took to looking like a batman villain?"

"Your choice."

He glances at me, his eyebrows elevating slightly.

"I guess I didn't react when I could."

"What part of me makes people give me vague answers?"

He smirks. Or at least I think he does, since half his mouth is deformed by the burns.

"Ok, before, it was an encounter with sulfur."

He takes a breath.

"As for after, I let things happen without thinking about the consequences."

"Interesting."

"You?"

"Before or after I got diagnosed."

He smirks again, apparently amused by my use of his style of speech.

"It's the after that counts, doesn't it?"

"Hmm…"

From there, I explain en length about my experience here.

His name is Casper, and he seems like a decent, if somewhat aloof guy.

The thing I've noticed about both him and Hisao, is that I get good vibes from them.

This gut feeling that at some point, these guys will do something that matters.

But then again, there's something sinister about this guy that I can't put my finger on.

At some point Mutou stumbles through the door, perfectly tying together an apology for being late and the beginning of his lecture.

I head back for my seat, paying little mind to the lesson, instead zoning out.

It's the after that counts, huh?

Maybe. But then again, how does that apply to someone like Rin, or Shizune?

They never had before or after, and they seem to be okay with that.

When I think back, even Emi seems ok with her disability.

Maybe acceptance is the right choice, but it'll never be the one I make.

Laying in my bed in the hospital, I spent days trying to figure out how to react to this new life. Anything my mind came up with seemed off in one way or another.

In the end, I gave up on trying to deal with it, deciding it'll probably happen over time.

It never did, but I didn't really think about it anymore.

Six months is a very long time. People died, and new ones were born under my watch.

Indirectly, I became a part of their lives, no matter how small a part.

Seeing things like a father meeting his newborn child, or a wife crying at the death of her husband to whom she spoke but a few hours ago, it made me realize something.

Life wasn't over, at least, not now.

The hope I thought was lost when I first saw the hospital ceiling? It came back to me.

I couldn't just give up.

* * *

Lunch break hits, and I once again tackle the flight upon flight of stairs, heading for the roof.

Since it's mostly neutral territory, I think I can make it my primary dining spot.

The door opens with a horrible squeal, and I step out into the light.

I'm not alone, and it's no surprise, the surprise is who is up here as well.

"Muira? Long time no see."

She shifts her gaze from the lunchbox to this intruder who dares interrupt her meal.

"Oh, it's you."

After watching her return to her food, I sit across from her, going to work on my lunch.

It's a silence, with neither of us willing to part from our food for long enough to start a conversation.

The only audible thing is the distant chatter of students in the yard.

Miki finishes first, systematically packing her box.

She glances at the door, and then at me. After repeating that for a few times, she locks her gaze at me.

"Nobody comes to the roof to eat alone."

I finish chewing, also packing up my lunch before I return her gaze.

The fact that she did exactly that aside, I'm curious to what her deal is.

We get put in the same group every time, so I know she isn't the most ambitious of students, mostly zoning out. To make matters worse, she kind of hops between a totally calm and a unnaturally curious state every time something noteworthy happens.

"Not really, I secretly hoped you'd be here."

The edges of her lips curve downwards a little. Just a little.

"Don't try that crap with me. I'm not interested."

"Oh well, it was worth a shot." And I stand up, heading towards the door.

I'm about to take the first step down when she finally calls out. What's interesting, she's standing right behind me.

"Seriously, what's the deal with you?"

"Sorry?"

"I can't get a read on you, you're all over the place, and it's annoying."

I smirk, finding a good angle to lean against the railing.

Telling her what she wants to know is risky, since she might lose all interest. Saying nothing will just move this same conversation to a few days from now. I go with the former anyway.

"You might have noticed that I'm a new guy, it takes a while to adjust to a new life."

Her head slumps down, and she looks down at the floor.

"I know that feeling." With that said, she walks away.

* * *

The festival everyone is fussing about will be the day after tomorrow. Most people already have plans.

I never liked mass gatherings, since it's a pain to navigate. With my body's newfound tendency to lag, such navigation would be impossible.

Finding a place to camp the festival at would be a good idea, but I don't feel like working stands.

And on the other side, the nightmare problem won't go away on itself.

Someone told me that the best way to solve a problem is to find its source.

Actually, I remember who that was. Damn, must be eight years already.

Eight year old me was happy that his parents took him to visit grandma again. She just recently taught me to speak using my hands, and I couldn't wait to try and use the knowledge.

[So tell me, how do you solve a problem?]

[I don't know.]

As usual, she'd smile, patting me on the head.

[A good place to start is it's beginning.]

I don't even remember what the problem in question was, but her words stuck.

Time spent with that woman might've been the happiest time of my life.

She was the kind of person who selflessly did everything they could, despite the difficulties, to make sure her family got the best she could give them.

That must be why both my parents, highly respected individuals in their fields, always found the time to spend with their kid.

If it wasn't for her, who knows who I'd turn out to be. I really was sad eight years ago...

Pushing thoughts about the past aside, I walk out into the yard.

It's been a long day, and I'm heading for the dorm.


	7. Act I, Chapter VII: Lost and Found

**This took far longer than expected. ****Anyway, Suzu is the last relevant character, and one i think could be a main one, given the chance.  
**

**I'm really torn over where i should take the story from here. It's either Rin or Suzu.  
**

**Maybe, in due time, both could be done. But what about now?  
**

**Which story would _you_ like to see?  
**

* * *

I slip, hitting my knee pretty hard against the concrete.

Mumbling curses under my breath, I push myself up, stumbling towards a nearby bench.

I run my hand along the damaged knee, feeling for any serious damage. Not even a scrape, I was lucky.

Sighing, I lean back on the bench, gazing at the sky.

Did the old me do this? I don't quite remember.

Actually, I don't remember anything about the me before the fall.

I was one of those people who completely change depending on present company.

Life was easy, but the friendships were superficial. I figured that out the hard way when people stopped visiting.

There was no real need for me to get a clean slate, but it happened anyway.

Most would relish the opportunity, but I'm not especially moved. It was a fairly expensive new beginning.

Dammit, I'm getting too dark. I have to try and find something better to think.

The clouds are pretty, so I try making out shapes.

One's a boat, the one to the left an ear. The jumble above them looks like a piano.

This is somewhat interesting.

Still, I'm wasting time doing this, so I shake myself out of it. I stand up, taking a look around me.

They say green is a soothing color. I don't know what a nervous wreck you have to be to need this much greenery, but I like it nonetheless.

There is a distinct green overtone to the entire surrounding. Moving here really fast, you'd only see that one color.

However, the green of the massive grassy area to the side of the school is interrupted by a splotch of white .

What the hell is that?

I start walking towards it, hastening upon realizing it's a student.

What's wrong with her? I should call the staff…

Despite my thoughts, the body goes on autopilot, crouching down next to the unconscious girl.

My hand darts towards her neck, feeling for a pulse. Thank god.

I sit down onto the grass, resting my forehead against my palm.

She's a third year, with distinct turquoise hair.

Her clothes are a bit messy, and she's wearing a brace on her left knee.

For my years living in Japan, I got used to the wacky hair colors, but what surprises me is that she seems surprisingly familiar.

I take a look at her bag, noticing a sticker with some writing on it.

"Suzu Suzuki of 3-3, if found, return to the nearest girl's dorm."

I could bet my life that Miki wrote this, I am that sure of that. As for this one, I never actually met her, since she's sleeping most of the time. I know someone told me what her thing is, but I can't remember…

What was it?

Oh right, narcolepsy.

It's a tricky condition, sleeping half your life away, dreaming or having nightmares.

I hope she isn't having nightmares, that would seriously suck .

She's cute though. Some people look downright silly when they sleep, but Suzuki looks peaceful, and peaceful looks cute on her.

Come to think of it, most girls here can be considered cute, which is surprising.

Just goes to show how far the stereotypes and prejudices go.

I sigh, glancing again at the girl lying in the grass.

My hand moves toward her head, swiping away the turquoise bangs.

At that moment, her eyes open, and she blinks a few times, staring at me with no hint of surprise.

Quick, say something.

"And here I thought only a kiss can wake a sleeping beauty."

That was actually pretty smooth. I'm getting better at this.

Not reacting to my words, she just sleepily rolls to the side, facing away from me.

"Just a few more minutes Hisao."

Hisao?

I look around to see if he's around, but this entire side of the yard is vacant save for the two of us.

So she must be dreaming about him. Ok, this is good, I can work with this.

Suzu Suzuki, the sleeper, has her eye on good old Hisao, eh?

Nice to know I guess, but now I'm wondering what's wrong with Hisao. He seems healthy on the outside.

I have half a mind to leave her there and head for the dorm on my own, but I realize it would make standing around this long pointless.

"Hey, wake up."

Nothing. So I try a few more times.

"Wake up!"

She shuffles around a bit, and I try to shake her out of sleep.

"Huh?"

I'm met by a very confused look.

Oh, we're sitting in the grass, and I'm kind of holding her in my arms.

"Finally."

I gently let go of her, watching her rub her eyes for a while before looking back at me.

"Where's Hisao? He was here a moment ago."

I sigh, following up with my best smile.

"He's not here, it must have been a dream."

She looks around, a slightly disappointed expression mixing with her sleepy one.

She then turns back to me, still maintaining that look.

"Hi."

"Hey. You ok?"

She stretches, yawning loudly, and scratches her head.

"Yeah. Thanks…guy."

There is a slight reddening in her face, and she sits upright, locking me down with a gaze.

It's a strong gaze, one I've already had used on me by Shizune.

I wonder, can all the girls here lock me down like that?

"You seem familiar, what's your name?"

In all my life, I never had to introduce myself this much, not even when I first went to school.

But then again, I wasn't as friendly then.

"Mikhail Tokarev, the new guy from your class."

I can see she's making an effort to remember, but she's cut off by another yawn.

Waking her up once was difficult enough.

"Hey, let's get you to the dorms. I hear beds are far more comfortable than the grass."

She smiles at that, slowly getting up.

"You don't know how right you are."

I do the same, and we head for the dorms walking side by side.

She is apparently oblivious to how close we are, or maybe she's just taking a precaution in case she dozes off again.

"So, how are you finding the school?"

"Well…It's different compared to what I'm used to. But I think that's ok."

"That's good."

There is a thin smile on her lips, and we pass by Rin's mural, arriving at the stairs.

"Ladies first."

Smiling, she grabs the railing, dragging herself up the small flight of stairs.

Even from here, it looks like a strain on her, like she could fall asleep any moment.

Luckily, she doesn't, making it to the top safely.

We stop in front of the dorms.

"Hey, thanks for waking me up."

"It's no problem really."

She looks slightly sad at that, but perks up immediately afterwards.

"Still, I owe you one. Why don't you join the gang for lunch tomorrow?"

"What gang?"

"The 3-3 gang. Mostly just Akio, Taro, Miki and me."

"Sure, why not?"

Hell, they're all familiar names. Might as well find some friends in the class.

She stretches again, yawning even louder than the last time.

"In that case, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye."

I hope she makes it to her room.

She looks very relaxed for someone who runs with the risk of just falling and smashing your head against something. She seems to be braver than most.

Before heading back, I steal one more look at the girls' dorm.

…

I wonder if there's a girl as kooky as Kenji over there?

…

Probably not.

* * *

I walk into my ever-empty room.

The door clicks behind me, and I hit the bed like a ragdoll.

Oh how I wish to be able to just stare at the ceiling for the entire day.

A few seconds later, I realize I'd be bored mindless if I did it for more than a minute.

I swing my legs to the side, bringing myself to a sitting position on the bed.

Moving myself to the desk, I prepare for the work that follows.

I reach for the bag, searching for the blue notebook.

Instead of finding the notebook, I pull out a white sandal.

Dammit, I forgot.

And I passed by her mural 10 minutes ago.

I guess homework can wait.

Hmm, I can't stand up…

After talking my body into standing up, I double check my clothes, take the sandal, and head out.

Is it the condition or just the laziness that kept me from standing up? Most likely both.

Leaving the dorm, I immediately look up to the sky.

Dozens of bright orange rays are the overture for yet another sunset.

There was a time when I cared to watch the sun set. It's something I miss.

I've changed, no doubt about it. The thing is, I don't know if it's for better or for worse.

Yeah, I'm good around people now, and I guess having mostly female company is nice, but I can't help feeling that something is missing.

Some part of my life that white walls and months of painkillers wiped from my mind.

Maybe If I find the time to watch the sunset, it'll come back to me…Maybe not.

I can feel my heart beat a tad faster as I step into the girls' dorm.

I doubt it's a horrible offense, but I still get edgy when it comes to rules I don't know yet.

Luckily, there's a sheet listing the inhabitant of each room, same as the boys' dorm.

Let's see…Tezuka Rin is in room….there.

After navigating a few identical hallways, I arrive to the target room.

Looking to the side, I take notice of Emi's room, as well as Miki's down the hall.

I begin to knock.

"Who is it?"

Her response is lightning fast, and I think the voice came from right behind the door.

Maybe she was waiting patiently for her lost sandal to return.

"Mikhail, and I've got something for you."

I hear what seems to be a sigh from behind the door, followed by the sound of a key being clumsily inserted and then turned in the lock.

How does she not get cramps using her feet like that?

The slightly messier than usual Rin stands at the door, wearing a soft green shirt in combination with shorts.

The getup showcases her legs, something I immediately noticed.

In some way, Rin could be considered pretty. In some way.

"I found something of yours." I say, as I produce the sandal.

She looks at it, then at me, and then at something inside of her room.

There's a hint of some confusion, or maybe hesitation in her eyes, but it's quickly suppressed, hidden under the expressionless mask.

"Throw it in."

That's fairly rude of her.

"Hmph, alright."

She seems oblivious to my change of tone, still keeping the stoic expression. It's a bit annoying.

"Thank you ." She slowly starts closing the door, a weak smile of gratitude hanging awkwardly on her face.

"Yeah, whatever."

I turn on my heel, double timing back to my room.

* * *

Just as I'm about to leave the girls' dorm, I feel the foot failing to listen, and I narrowly avoid a fall by grabbing onto a random chair in the hallway.

I swear, I get a mini heart attack every time this happens.

Arriving back to my room, I realize Rin had no obligation to let me into her room.

I really shouldn't take things so personally.

A few hours and several breaks later, I'm finally done with the homework.

I guess I could call dad.

Listening to the cell phone beeping as it tries to connect, I go over what I'm going to say in my head.

"Hey dad."

"Finally. I was afraid you forgot about your old man."

"Unlikely."

I hear the grunt that comes out instead of a forced laugh. My father never could fake a laugh.

"So, how's things? Find any company?"

"Well, I went running in with a girl this morning, then I had lunch with a girl, then I walked a girl to the dorm, and then I visited a girl in her dorm."

I can hear him taking a deep breath, probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me talking like that.

"That's great, what's her name?"

"They're all different girls."

The thunderous laugh that comes from the other side is my father's true laugh. It's a very rare, and very loud occurrence.

"That's my boy! Don't ever settle with one. Learn from your father's mistakes."

"Come on, mom isn't that bad."

"You tasted her cooking."

"Ok, I take it back. But it's too late for you old man."

Once again, I get the grunt.

We go over anything relevant that happened, and I end up telling him about the incoming festival.

"A damn shame that neither of us can't go."

"Yeah, bummer."

"Well, at least you got a lot of companions to choose from."

"There's that…"

A few minutes later, I hang up.

I look out the window, staring into the faint glow of the moon from behind the clouds.

The rest of the vast sky is invisible because of the night lighting. Still, the moon is there, although hidden.

Guess I missed that sunset.

I take a shower, laying down in my bed soon afterwards.

I've tried logic, prayer, medicine.

Nothing scares away the nightmares. Whatever seems to work in the waking world is worthless there.

I guess I'll just have to watch the damn thing again. Good night. Actually….never mind.

I close my eyes, throwing the covers over my head.


	8. Act I, Chapter VIII: Stalling

**This one turned out longer than expected. Thinking about offering an official choice for the story's direction (the one vote already accounted).**

**Also tried something different with the writing to add more words, i think it turned out ok.**

**Anyway, read and enjoy. If you're feeling especially generous, feel free to leave a review.**

* * *

The moment my eyes open, I turn my head towards the alarm clock stationed on my nightstand.

It takes me a few moments to realize it's too dark to see anything.

Closing my eyes, I sit up, trying to organize the mess in my head.

Darkness, shrieking, the abyss… All the familiar guests in my dreams. My heart is still beating faster.

I rub my temples, slowly clearing my mind from the night's horrors.

Standing up, I tilt my head from side to side, feeling a cracking each time.

Lifting the window covers allows the morning light into my room, and I blink a few times to hasten my eyes' adjustment.

I glance at the clock again, seeing that it's around 6 AM again. I don't even need an alarm clock.

Still, I remember how much I hated this little device before. It could take quite a beating.

I can only sigh. It being here means that some part of me subconsciously hoped that when I'd come here I'd need something to wake me up, that I wouldn't have dreams that do it for me.

I feel sorry for that little part of me, it had hope…

Gathering my clothes, I head for the showers. As I walk, I run through the day's assignments in my head.

Morning run, school, lunch, school…homework? There's got to be a better way to spend the afternoon.

Spinning the little valve, I flinch under the initial, colder blast.

Soon enough, it's the right temperature, and my head is free to deal with its thoughts.

Going running every morning seems like a lot, but it's actually very easy for me.

Maybe it's just because I know what not running means. I'd never let that happen. No way.

Emi is good company, but it feels stupid watching her lap me dozens of times every day.

I guess not everyone is destined to be a track star.

Turning the little valve in the other direction, I step out of the shower.

I end up in front of a mirror, so I take a moment to look at myself.

Having no acne whatsoever was a blessing, and the rest of me looks ok as well.

I mean, you can clearly see six months of doing nothing but stupid physical therapy.

Other than that, I look ok. The passer-by would see a tall, foreign looking boy with short black hair.

They'd be torn over labeling me as handsome, but would do so in the end.

Asking for anything more is overkill. When it comes to looks, I'm satisfied.

Seeing the mirror getting foggy from my breath makes me frown, so I take a step back.

But all of a sudden, and idea comes to mind, and I step back forward.

I write "Good morning" on the mirror with my finger. Unfortunately, nobody will be able to tell what "доброе утро" means…

After arriving back into my room, I change into my tracksuit. It too is green, just like Yamaku.

The tracksuit is like one of those things that never change, like an old friend, or the sky.

Rin'd agree with me on this one. The tracksuit is the sky. Makes so much sense…

A facepalm later, I pick out two random bottles, washing down some of their content with a glass of water.

I don't really need these; not taking them won't kill me, but I still feel like I should.

Maybe it has something to do with fitting in. Popping pills to fit in…No, just…no.

* * *

Arriving on the track a minute late, I'm greeted by a stretching Emi.

Proceeding to join her, I can't help but notice that my former lunchmate looks different this morning.

"Hey, did you do something with your hair?"

Her expression becomes one of confusion, but she continues her stretch nonetheless.

"No, why?"

"You look different."

I reach for one foot, then the other. A familiar strain runs through each of my thighs, signaling that the muscles are waking up.

"Really? How so?"

She looks comical like that with her twintails flying all over the place each time she moves.

But the look is still there. What is it?

"I don't know, you look…alive."

A laughing fit takes her, and she stops stretching.

After a good minute of intense laughter, she looks up at me, swiping away her bangs.

"Was that supposed to be flirting?"

I can feel my smile fading away instantly. My eyes close partially, trying to signal annoyance.

"No. I was giving an honest compliment."

She smiles what strikes me as a truly honest smile, with no hint of force behind it.

"Well, you need to work on your compliments then."

I just shake my head, heading for the track.

Not five seconds later, she's next to me, ready to take the lead.

Instead of doing so, she turns her head to me.

"We're working tempo today. We can talk while we run."

"Alright."

So we run, the batter of feet and clacking of springs serving as background noise along with the stray bird song.

"I hear you've been hanging out with Rin."

"Maybe."

She frowns slightly, but her smile soon recovers.

"Come on, you can tell me. We're friends."

"Oh?"

She looks offended at the reply, so I quickly flash her a joking smile, hoping she buys it.

"Jerk."

"Ok, now we're definitely not friends."

She sticks out her tongue. She looks cute doing it. Like a child who got offended for something.

"Fine, but just this once."

The smile confirms that my words hit their mark.

We pick up pace for one lap, so I don't speak, too focused on staying on my feet.

I land on the knee once, but it's not a big deal, since I wasn't going fast to begin with.

"But seriously, it's good to see Rin hanging out with somebody else."

I can see why the two get along. Emi seems to be the only one here patient or stubborn enough to deal with someone like Rin. Besides, she also does something she can't just because she can.

I go back to those words, once again fascinated by the meaning.

A boy with Parkinson's and a legless girl walk onto a track…

This is so ridiculous. But it's ok. It feels…normal. Like doing anything else would be senseless.

"Fight to the very end."

She looks at me, surprised by my sudden words.

Instead of being confused, she just nods in a very sage manner, closing her eyes briefly. Then she picks up speed.

Suddenly exhausted, I can't do much else than gradually slow down watching as this pink zephyr blows across the track.

Did she guess what I was thinking about? Or is this the way she deals with Rin?

Actually, I'm not sure If I want to know the answer. For the sake of our newfound friendship, I don't.

I head back to the dorm, thinking about what kind of person Emi is.

Hopefully, she understood. If she didn't, I can only believe that she runs away from Rin in the same way.

What kind of friend would do that?

I guess I'll find out tomorrow, earlier if luck has it.

* * *

"MICCHAN!"

Pretending to be asleep doesn't help with the epic pink drills, who doubles up on her decibels with every attempt to get my attention.

Hesitating at first, I raise my head to see the familiar duo.

I think about speaking up, but then realize I can do better. Sitting up, I free my arms.

[Good morning.]

Misha's expression lights up upon noticing the form of communication, and I can tell it's a strain on her not to express her excitement.

[Mind if we ask you a question?]

Despite using sign, Shizune is still "silent", her fingers idling on the tabletop as Misha does the "talking".

Her calm, collected stare makes it look like we're doing something really important, not just, well, communicating.

[Sure thing, but then each of you has to answer one as well. They might be personal.]

Exchanging glances, the two girls nod simultaneously. That was fast.

[In that case, shoot.]

Misha takes a moment, trying her best to put on a serious face. This just might be something important after all.

[How do you know sign?]

"…"

And here I thought it's something big.

They seem uncomfortable with my slight hesitation, so I give them a reassuring smile.

[My grandmother taught me.]

[She was deaf all her life, but I still tried to talk to her.]

[No one in my family actually could talk to her other than using writing since my grandfather passed away.]

[I guess she was surprised with my request.]

[So, she taught me sign. It was my second language.]

They nod at my words, exchanging a few lighting fast signs, too fast for me to pick up.

Shizune is the first to move.

[I'll go first.]

Oh right, i get to ask them questions.

[Alright. But be honest.]

She nods.

[Why do you want Hisao on the council so bad?]

Even if she managed to come up with a convincing lie, it would be too late.

For all her control and intimidation value, Shizune is still just a teenage girl, who blushes at the mention of her crush.

My suspicions have been confirmed.

She's quick to recover from the surprise, drawing out her movements in an attempt to buy a few more seconds.

[The council is critically undermanned, and we need someone with his skillset.]

It takes all I've got not to burst out laughing then and there.

Skillset, right…I didn't know being handsome was a skill.

[Alright, fair enough.]

"My turn!"

She seems pretty excited.

[Do you have a crush?]

The silliest smile creeps onto her face, and she blushes heavily.

"Well…"

"Who?"

She immediately clams up.

"You said just one question!"

So close…

"Alright."

[You seem to be fairly interested in our affections.]

Trying to read her expression is pointless, as she hides behind a mask of neutrality as she would behind a shield.

[They say knowledge is power.]

[No, being in the student council is power.]

I smile at the remark, but any further interaction is cut short by Mutou's sudden appearance.

He has the look of a man who is permanently hung over. It doesn't stop him from beginning a lecture with unparalleled intensity.

After passing through a few hands, a note arrives to my desk.

Precise, neat handwriting. Shizune.

_What you said is interesting, care to talk it over during lunch?_

What exactly? Anyway, I already got lunch plans.

I quickly scribble an answer.

_I'm busy for lunch, maybe after school?_

I turn to see her reaction, she writes again.

_At the council room then, you can help with some work._

If clearing things up takes an afternoon of paperwork, it's a sacrifice I can handle.

Besides, spending one more afternoon idling in my room will turn me into a Kenji.

…

I shudder at the thought.

* * *

I can feel the relief in the air when the lunch bell finally rings.

Miki walks up to my desk, slamming it with her good hand.

"Come on, you made a promise!"

Her sudden energy strikes me as annoying.

"Seriously, can't you be the same person for at least a day?"

She smiles at that, pulling up a chair.

"You just caught me on a few bad days is all. I promise I'll be better from now on."

It's an honest smile, so I give her the benefit of the doubt.

Miki does seem like someone prone to mood swings.

"So, where's the rest of the gang?"

"Waiting for you."

Taking my hand in her own, she drags me into the hallway, swerving between streams of students with impeccable skill. Every time I think we are going to get stuck, she finds a new opening, shooting through moments later.

I don't think we could have gotten to the cafeteria faster than this.

I'm dragged to an empty table, and we sit down. Why is the table empty?

"So?"

She pulls out a cell phone, swinging it open and dialing a number.

The cafeteria is getting crowded.

I can almost hear the beeps coming from the phone.

Instead of waiting them out, she hangs up, suddenly looking very worried.

"We'll meet you on the roof, ok?"

This is the most disorganized gang I've ever seen. I can only shrug in compliance.

"Sure."

The haul to the roof is painfully long. Hitting a leg on every third step doesn't help my mood at all.

Still, I manage to reach the door with the busted lock.

I step out onto the sunlit roof, noticing the one person who's already here.

"Hey Rin."

She's lying down on the floor, staring at the sky.

"Hello."

Instead of hanging around with her, I walk up to the chain link fence, peering at the courtyard below.

It's something I used to, and still do enjoy doing. Maybe I'll spot someone I know.

A girl is standing near the edge of the yard, apparently looking for someone.

Her expression, her posture, everything about her gives off the look of determination. Like a maiden stuck in a tower, standing vigilant, waiting for the knight who will rescue her.

Maybe i'm overdoing it. Still, she looks all to impatient to see whoever she's waiting for.

After a few seconds of watching nothing happening, I walk back to the bench, sitting down next to Rin.

"Anything new?"

"Yes and No. The sky is always different, but it's still the same sky. Maybe a double yes. Or a double no."

She suddenly looks very worried. Is the sky that important to her?

I lie down next to her, trying to see things from her perspective.

Although vast, the sky is still just that: the sky, just like she said. And maybe it's a tracksuit.

I think on telling her about my conclusion, but then decide against it.

"I don't get it."

She shuffles around a bit, turning towards me.

"Don't get what?"

"Staring at the sky."

She smiles weakly. It's an unusual smile, but it seems familiar. The smile of someone remembering someone long gone, or maybe the farewell smile we give to a friend we won't see ever again.

Or maybe I'm just reading into it too much. But it's unusual.

"That's ok."

Her short answer leaves me feeling guilty for some reason, so I decide to continue.

"It's just that I never cared much to do it. You seem to have some experience with it. Why do you do it?"

Her expression gently changes back to her usual neutral mask. The weak smile dissolved back into a line.

"It's always there, so high, out of reach. A perfect blue sky."

It's metaphor, but for what? What is it that she can't reach?

"Mikhail."

The voice is really close. I turn my head to see her. I can feel her breath.

Her dark green eyes are as big as lakes, or something equally big. Try all I might, it seems impossible to look at anything else.

She hides her emotions in them, because that way they can't be seen from afar.

Worry, hope, reluctance…feelings in her heart and behind her eyes.

I don't know how I see them, or am I even correct, but they're the only thing I can think about.

They say eyes are the windows to the soul. It's a pretty soul.

It takes a long blink from her to snap me out of it.

Slowly pushing myself up, I turn to the girl who watches the sky.

"Hey Rin."

Only a slight movement of her eyes indicates that she heard me. I wait until she looks straight at me.

"Looking at something perfect. I understand that."

Another smile, but this one isn't heavy. It's a happy smile.

"I'm glad."

She stands up, slowly heading for the door. Her slim shape disappears into the building.

Silence remains.

* * *

I slowly sit up.

What just happened? Why was I so stuck for words? Do I really care that much?

Damn it, this isn't helping. Where are Miki and Suzu?

I walk up to the fence, scanning the yard for that girl I saw earlier.

Streams of students are still flowing through the courtyard, even though it's almost half of lunch break.

The color of her hair…I think they call that ash.

A friendly looking smile, and a hand on her black cane.

Even from here, her looks are apparent. She starts moving.

The boy she's been waiting for is here. I can't believe it.

Stratoavis walks up, saying something that makes her chuckle. He offers a hand, and they join one of the streams.

I'm happy for him, if a tad envious. He seems to be quick at making friends.

The door swings open, and a trio of girls step into the sunlight.

Miki, Suzu and Molly.

Suzu's pale complexion is a sharp contrast to her two slightly more exotic friends, and it makes her stick out.

"Took you long enough."

It's Suzu that raises her hand.

"My fault, I was taking a nap."

The face Miki makes, and Molly's smile give me the impression that them being late is fairly common.

Two on each side of the table, with Miki forcing Suzu to sit next to me.

Miki is the one to break the ice.

"Since I've waited this long, you'll have to excuse me. There is a lunch that requires my full attention."

Those were probably the last words her poor lunch ever heard.

The Indian girl looks a bit hesitant, but then speaks up.

"Uh, we never officially met…"

No. I don't want to introduce myself anymore.

"Do you know my name?"

"Yes, it's Mikhail Tokarev."

"And yours is Molly Kapur."

She smiles, pressing her hands together.

"Pleased to meet you."

There is another period of silence, with everyone scrambling to get done with their lunch as fast as they can.

Well, almost everyone. When it comes to eating, I think Miki beats Emi on every day.

The girl sitting next to me finally starts talking.

"I'm sorry that I ruined your lunch."

Well, she's quick to feel guilty.

"Don't be sorry for something you can't help."

"He's right. You beat yourself up too much."

Miki's words are remarkably coherent even when spoken with a full mouth.

"Really?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you meant it."

"Shut up Miki."

She frowns, looking at the chopsticks in her good hand, and then at me. After that she just shrugs.

Guess I'm not worth the chopsticks.

The sound of bells ringing starts the moment we finish with the lunch.

"Not much of a lunch, huh?"

I shrug.

"I've had worse."

"Tomorrow. I promise I won't fall asleep!"

She seems persistent. What's the harm?

"Sure. But just you and me."

"Suzu, you lucky little..Oopmh!"

Molly just smiles gently after having elbowed Miki in the ribs.

I think I can grow to like this lot.

"Let's head back then."

The return trip to the classroom is quite eventless, with the girls gossiping in whispers.

I try to eavesdrop, giving up the first time my body threatens to rebel.

We return just in time.

Molly quickly gets ready for class, taking a few notes in advance.

Miki starts digging though her bag, finally pulling out a notebook. After realizing she has no pencil, she takes one from Takashi, the guy behind her. He protests, but she flips him off.

Suzu just places her head on her arms and closes her eyes.

A few more hours, and then the council room…I wonder if she forgot.

I shoot a glance towards Shizune, who nods, proving me wrong.

After failing to twirl the pencil in my fingers (most likely the condition's fault), I start writing.

Due to the nature of the light particle…


	9. Act I, Chapter IX: High and Low

**Kind of a weak chapter after this long, and saying school's to blame is just as weak an excuse.** **It's here though.**

**Never planned on giving a choice to guide the story, but the idea seems more and more appealing with each chapter. Might be bold enough to go for it in the next one. Any favs, follows and reviews are appreciated, and help with hastening the writing process (guilt does wonders).**

* * *

The ring of the final bell echoes throughout the school's hallways, sending the more eager and impatient of students darting out into the hallways.

Even if there was a place I would be in such a hurry to get to, I doubt my body would support this kind of dash…

The trio I had lunch with waves me goodbye before disappearing out the door.

Arranging a one on one lunch with Suzu was probably a good idea. Getting to know her without anybody's interference could be interesting.

Misha follows after them, an embarrassed smile the only thing she can offer before she too disappears into the crowds in the hallway. So it's just me and Shizune?

I sigh, finally getting up to pack my stuff. By the time I'm done, the entire classroom is empty, save for the newspaper club duo chatting in the back.

Feeling tense, I start trudging towards the council room. I say trudging because ever since the accident, I never felt like I was walking with a light step. It's always forcing your own legs to move.

I stop before the white door and the little sign next to it that reads "council room".

So it's just the two of us. No Misha, no Miki, no running, no meaningful silence…no distractions, just me and Hakamichi.

My heart picks up pace, and I lean against the wall.

Why am I panicking, it's just Shizune. She's the council president, a predator whose only purpose is to bend lesser students to her will. But it's not just that. She's not just authority…

My hesitation falters for only a moment, and that's enough for my hand to push open the door.

Heart still beats like crazy, head feels slightly light.

She's sitting behind a desk, sorting papers. The door opening fails to escape her attention.

Taking a step, I close the door behind me, waving at her.

[You're here. Sit across so we can work and talk in the same time.]

See, she won't bite. Calm down heart.

I do as she says, pulling up a chair, scanning the heap of paper on the desk.

[So, we're doing what?]

[Paperwork. Total expenses of every class, supplies used and other costs.]

She points at one of the piles.

[Our class is already finished.]

My pulse finally steady, I start shifting through the stacks, dividing a large group into a few smaller ones.

Fear is only as strong as one allows it to be. The fearless heroes from cartoons and fairy tales were either fools, headstrong or high. Maybe all three.

Shizune taps the table to get my attention.

[So, what did you mean by knowledge is power? How does knowing who likes who give you an edge?]

I take a second to formulate my answer, selecting the one between the truth and the one she probably wants to hear.

[Matching people to tasks. Someone is a lot more likely to help if a person they like is involved in some way.]

Somehow that doesn't feel enough, and my hands keep moving. Maybe it's her position, but she seems trustworthy.

[Also, it tends to help with blackmail.]

Her reaction is an expression I really can't label.

It's a smile of understanding, but also a frown of disapproval. She'd do the same, I guarantee it.

[That's not by the book.]

[But you can't deny its effectiveness.]

She shrugs with a mysterious grin.

We shift through some more work, before conversation picks up again.

[If you like someone, and somebody else knows that, how would you cover the weakness?]

She's fishing for a specific answer. I'll play along.

[Easy, approach the one you like, start a relationship.]

She frowns slightly, her arms folding. It seems to be her instinctive reaction to something she doesn't like.

[Yeah, but you know that isn't easy, especially in this school. How?]

She has a point, so I go back to sorting. However, a hand reaches across the table, stopping me.

There is an impatience, a hatred in her glare. Like staring into the eye of a typhoon.

[Answer me.]

Leaning back in my chair, I take a deep breath. Shizune is as fierce as they make them. Getting on her bad side will only be trouble in the long run.

[A big gesture, a note in the notebook. Just plain saying it. Take your pick.]

She frowns, going back to the paperwork.

An idea brews inside my mind. Although there is one more variable…

[Hey, why not get some drinks?]

She seems pleased with the change of topic, smirking slightly.

[I'll go get them, you stay here.]

The moment she stands up, I lock my gaze on her, resting my head on one hand, leaning away from the council room door.

The way she walks radiates confidence, with big, long steps that still manage to look very feminine.

She places her hand on the door, pushing it open. Just as she's about to go through the door frame, she turns around

Of course, she takes notice of my gaze, blushing and turning around immediately. We both know what that meant…

I could leave the council room right now, and this thing will never have happened.

But whatever fear I had about this was left in front of the door.

Shooting another glance at the stacks of paper confirms that the work is almost done.

The only problem is, I can't imagine myself dating Shizune. It just doesn't appear in my head.

I'd just be afraid every time, and it'd ruin it.

Still, if I stay, something is bound to happen. And I'm not sure if I want it to.

There is a knock on the door, She can't be back this fast.

Getting up takes too much effort, but I manage, heading towards the door.

My hand misses the doorknob, crashing into the wall instead. Pain flashes through the entire arm.

Every finger on the right hand immediately goes red.

Mumbling a curse under my breath, I open the damn door.

The blonde sports a very displeased facial expression, a full folder in her free hand.

"Lilly?"

"Huh?"

Her being surprised by hearing my voice shouldn't be all that strange.

"Mikhail? Is that you?"

"Yes, how can I help?"

"You're in the council?"

I smile, even though it means nothing to her.

"No, just getting manipulated into doing work for them."

"I know that feeling all too well I'm afraid."

It's a slight frown, but enough to dissuade me from inquiring. Don't think I'd remember anything either; dealing with Shizune is enough for one day.

"So, what's the matter?"

She walks past me, seating herself in an empty chair. Placing the contents of the folder among the piles, I too sit down.

"The paperwork for my class was incomplete, as you probably noticed."

I had no idea.

"Could you just place them in the stack, and pretend nothing happened? Not having to deal with Shizune would mean a lot to me."

"Bad blood between you two, huh? Don't worry."

She frowns slightly, but then goes back to her usual smile.

"Exactly. I'm going now, so I'll see you around."

I want to point out the obvious faux-pass, but something makes me stay quiet.

Lilly stops at the door, smiling and giving a wave before disappearing into the hallway.

Maybe she wanted to see how I'd react…Dammit.

I facepalm out of frustration. It really feels stupid making an error like that, even in thought.

Seconds later, Shizune comes back, a can of some fizzy drink in each hand.

She takes a look into the hallway, obviously annoyed. After handing me my drink, she starts signing.

[You know her?]

[Now I do.]

Hopefully, she won't see though the lie. Lilly's visit might have just ruined any potential relationship between me and the president of the student council.

[What did she want?]

Her hands move very fast, and her fixed stare is beginning to make me feel uneasy.

With every passing second, this feels less like talking and more like an interrogation.

[Something about checking if her class' papers arrived on time.]

She stares intently for a few seconds, relaxing at the end. Her gaze turns to the piles.

[It looks like we are done here. Thank you for the company.]

The kind smile following those words is a 180 from the expression she was sporting only a few seconds ago, but I pay it no mind.

Unlike to the correct speech, it's easy to get used to the random mood swings here.

[Any time.]

She sees me out, the smile refusing to fade.

Safely out of sight, I sit down on the stairs, taking a moment to rewind the past hour in my head.

That was really close. If not for Lilly's timely arrival, I'd get myself into something that would be a major pain to get out of.

Shizune seems like a good person in her heart, and that's probably why she's so easy to hang out with.

However, there would be no chemistry, the sole reason why teenage relationships survive.

This turned out for the best i assume. Taking a deep breath, I stand up, heading down the stairs with a heavy step.

* * *

I make record time diving into the dorm to leave my bag and dashing out equally fast. If he planned to ambush me, Kenji missed the opportunity.

Making my way to the mural, I plant myself in front of it, deciding it's the prime place to cloudgaze.

Small white puffs float around in the cyan sea, somehow always equally distant from each other.

It's very soothing, just like the greenery.

Wasting the entire afternoon here would be too easy.

However, something inside of me craves motion, which in itself is surprising, so I decide to indulge it.

Since the town is still unknown territory, I won't risk it going there. That only leaves…what? The school grounds?

Despite the little voice in my head screaming at me how stupid this is, I decide to take a walk around the school.

The path is pretty straightforward, and I'm soon behind the school, in the big shade.

Right after I turn the corner, something catches my eye. A girl.

Silvery hair, a cigarette in her left hand, and…red eyes?

She's leaning against the wall, one leg on the ground, the other bend halfway in the air, also leaning against the wall. Her free hand is tucked into a skirt pocket, and her strange red eyes fixed on something in the distance.

It's rare to see a girl sporting a braid these days, which is a shame, since I always found braids cute.

She takes notice of me, waving with her free hand for me to approach.

After doing so, I find myself leaning against the brick wall, next to the silver-haired girl.

"New guy from 3-3?"

"Yeah."

She blinks, taking another drag at her cigarette. She stretches out her hand, looking at the roll of tobacco, then at me.

"Want?"

"Sure."

It'd hardly be my first smoke.

Being a single child of a wealthy family meant getting sent off to summer camps all the time. In those vile places, smoking was rite of passage, so I had to abide by the rules.

Back then fitting in was higher than it should be on my priority list. Fortunately, it never could become a habit.

Inhaling, I once again feel that familiar burn the inexperienced smoker always feels. Although I'm past the point when I used to cough, it's still slightly unpleasant.

Watching the smoke dissipate from in front of my eyes, I give the cigarette back.

She looks at me with a mildly annoyed expression that disappears behind a thin veil of smoke.

"What's your gig?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you at Yamaku? Seems all your limbs are in place. Or is it something hidden?"

Her gaze drops, and so does my mood. Still, a decent comeback pops into my head.

"Sorry, I'm already busy today. Maybe tomorrow?"

Her expression darkens to the point where I start considering running away.

It's a hateful gaze in a very pure, very frightening form. I don't think i could run if I wanted to.

That's it, the bad joke will creep her out, and she'll never want to see me at best. At worst, she might slap me.

But instead of slapping, she starts chuckling.

My tense body relaxes, and I too smile.

"Most guys just freak out at that, you know? Good job keeping your cool."

"…"

I don't really have anything to say, so I take the cigarette again.

The second pull is lighter on the lungs, so I savor it a bit.

"Hey, have you been to town?"

"No, shouldn't go alone."

"Me neither."

Her cigarette is done for, and the pack she pulls out of her pocket is empty as well.

Crossing her arms, she frowns.

"Dammit, I need to resupply."

She looks at me, and her expression lights up a little.

"Tomorrow after school. I'll show you around town, and you keep me company so Nurse doesn't harass me later."

"Deal."

We just chill there for a few minutes, before I decide this is enough leaning against walls for the day.

"Hey, I forgot to ask…"

"Rika, you can call me Rika."

"See you around."

She smiles, waving at me before returning to gazing into the distance aimlessly.

* * *

After returning to my dorm, I half-heartedly work through the not-so-humble pile of homework before draining the last bit of energy from myself via the shower's hot water.

Before my mind inevitably starts thinking about the nightmares, i rewind the entire day in my head.

Running with Emi, being stunned by Rin, lunch with the power trio, a shift with Shizune and meeting Rika. All pleasant events, it was a good day.

I'm not going to let a damn nightmare ruin it. With that thought in my head, i slowly fall asleep.


	10. Act I, Chapter X: No Calamity

**Had to take my time and work out some stuff about the story. The scene in the end is based off a true story, albeit it is a bit more idealized here.**

**Anyway, kudos to the guy who took the time to review every chapter, it made me go back and see what i got right, and what still needs work.**

**And a final note for those who prefer stories with a choice: Yes, there will be a choice, probably in the next chapter. Just takes time to set it up properly.**

* * *

Two distinct emotions float around in my head as I wake up. Happiness and fear.

It's a simple happiness, one achieved by having a good night's sleep.

Yet the fear is a troubling sort. I fear that this relief is only temporary, and that the shrill screams and eldritch horrors will await for me once more the following night.

However, instead of echoes of whatever scared me witless, I hear a faint chipper of birds coming from outside.

I sit up on my bed, staring at the window for a few seconds. Still not content, I stand up, sweeping the ragged curtains aside. A tree I can't name stands not far from the window, its branches populated by at least a dozen small brown birds.

The little feathered creatures jump from branch to branch, maintaining a polyphonic song, sneaking looks at the face that's staring at them from the window. I can swear they are talking about me…

I come to slightly, rubbing my eyes. The birds talking about my sleep is kind of a long shot. Most likely is that they're, much like most of Yamaku's students, talking about the upcoming festivities.

That's like…tomorrow wasn't it? Damn, I need to get a date.

There's Emi, she'd probably agree, as friends. The concept of a date is probably too much for Rin, but it'd be interesting to try. Maybe Shizune? Maybe not. Suzu seems interested in me…And then there's Rika.

Suzu seems like a decent girl, but between her naps and her bodyguard, I hardly spoke a word with her. I'd really like to though.

On the other side, Rika is just interesting. Albino white hair, coupled with her surprisingly trusting, if slightly odd persona and the fact that she wears her hair in a braid, make her someone I'd like to know better.

It all comes down to a choice really….

I blink a few times before realizing something...

It's 6 AM in the morning.

I am in no state to be making plans for the festival.

Glancing once more at the alarm clock, I grab my things and head for the showers.

During the slow trek though the corridor, I can't help but wonder if thinking about the nightmare prevented me from noticing things like that tree outside.

The showers seem a bit less gloomy this morning, the few rays of sunlight that broke through the window reflecting off of the dark blue tiles that cover the floor.

Since I'm the first here all the time, I use a different shower every day. By now, I've come to the conclusion that by far the best one is the one on the far left.

Savoring the blast of hot water, I stop by the mirror on my way out. My hair is a total disaster. It's fascinating how such short hair can look this untidy.

After my fingers helped substitute for a comb, I return to my room, changing into the tracksuit.

My step feels marginally lighter on my way to the track, but instead of my condition miraculously getting better, I pin it to the fact that I'm just in a much better mood this morning.

* * *

It's been almost a week since I've arrived in Yamaku, but it feels a lot longer than that.

Maybe having something to do all the time is a drastic enough change from the past months to make time seemingly flow faster.

To be honest, my thoughts about this school were wrong from the start.

People, however hurt, are still people. Took me six months to figure that out.

My train of thought is interrupted by something that catches my eye.

I see Emi from a ways off, but don't voice it. I might be able to sneak up on her.

Turns out a Parkinson patient's pace is great for staying silent, and I find myself standing a meter behind a stretching Emi.

The sun's up by now, but fortunately, my shadow falls in the other direction. It's curious to see someone with leg prosthesis stretching her thighs, but she does seem to making the effort.

I don't even realize she's halfway though with the stretching ,and then she bends down…

And twists to the left…and to the right…

Before my eyes permanently get stuck on Emi's gym shorts, a voice in my head screams at me.

One good morning and you feel untouchable, huh? Snap out of it!

I look down, slightly embarrassed. Still, an idea pops into my head.

"Hey Emi's butt."

As expected, she turns around immediately, her face a shade more crimson with each passing second.

"You pervert!"

"Says the girl so liberally flaunting her buttocks."

I pay for those words by enduring a series of lightning fast jabs aimed at my gut.

"DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

Assaulted by what seems to be a dozen little arms, I have no choice but to regretfully make the promise.

"Alright, just stop it!"

She seems satisfied with that, stepping back with her arms crossed.

"Now, if you're done messing around, we can get some running done."

I give her something halfway between a nod and a shrug and take off after her.

Even though it's usually really annoying, the clicking sound of her legs helps me get into a rhythm.

As Emi laps me for the third time this morning, I can't help but think about the situation I'm in.

So there's the condition, an incurable nuisance that eats away at my nervous system, slowly wrenching control of my own body from me. And then there's what I'm doing right now.

Although my speed is seriously lacking, and I'm always a moment of inattention away from crashing down headfirst into the track, my stamina's rapidly improving. I make twice the laps I did on the first run.

I can't hear anything aside from the hum of the air passing by my ears and Emi's clicking, but it doesn't matter. On the track, you're all alone. Or at least I think that's how it should feel.

Eventually, exhaustion gets the best of me, and drag myself to the bleachers, watching Emi run her final lap.

I can't help feeling happy as I watch the short, twintailed girl click her way to where I'm sitting.

"Watching is really your thing today, huh?"

I smile in recognition of the jab, but do little to reply.

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

I shake my head, gesturing for her to sit down.

"Festival's tomorrow."

"You can't be serious!" Her mock-surprise comes off sounding surprisingly convincing.

"The problem is, I haven't the slightest idea of who to go with."

She stares at me, the look of utter confusion plastered on her face.

"You're not going to hang out with Rin?"

"I don't know, haven't considered it."

She frowns, crossing her arms.

"Then what did you consider?"

"Nothing." She glares at me, looking unconvinced. "Seriously."

Her arms go back to leaning against the bleachers, and her expression brightens up.

"Well then, there you have it. Go spend time with Rin."

"Hmm…"

The idea has crossed my mind, but that's about it. Sure, Rin is fascinating, with the pointless remarks and sudden outbursts of wisdom, but I don't think she'd be much fun for hanging out at the festival.

But then again, I did get caught off guard by her eyes…

"Yeah, I'll think about it."

She opens her mouth to say something, but then decides against it.

We walk side by side back to the dorms, talking about how unhealthy the festival food will be.

Emi's fun to hang out with, I could find her tomorrow, go play some games or something.

I haven't had the chance to enjoy many festivals so I don't know what's there to do aside from watching a fireworks show in the end.

Finally, we part ways at the staircase.

"See you tomorrow, ok? You'll stop by the mural?"

"Of course. I'll see you around."

With that, she dashes up the stairs.

I turn to my dorm, looking at half a dozen concrete steps. All of a sudden, I feel really tired.

Even people who have to use prosthesis have an easier time tackling stairs than I do…

I sigh, but step forward.

* * *

Reemerging from the dorm, I'm forced to squint a little. Seems that even the sky is hyped for the festival, since there isn't a cloud in sight.

I try and pick up pace, joining the slowly flowing stream of students headed for the main building.

Since there's little to do aside from not falling, I let my body go on autopilot until I get to the classroom.

Today being a Friday, and with the festival tomorrow, I think it's fair to expect little to no work from today's classes, but you never know.

I'm about to start climbing the stairs when something grabs hold of me and pulls me to the side.

I'm face to face with Miki Muira, who gives me a wide grin.

"There you are! I want to talk to you."

The hand is pressing painfully into my shoulder, but I try and ignore it.

"It can't wait for class?"

Just a shake of the head. Figured as much.

"You see, you're going to have lunch with my best friend today. And that means you need to know the rules."

Finally, I push her hand aside, dusting myself off.

"Whatever it is, we can talk it over, hell, we can skip class."

She looks surprised for a moment, then nods, closing her eyes.

"So it shall be."

Wait, what?

She darts to the side, dragging me by the hand. Despite my best efforts to find an opening and escape, the whole school seems to be on her side, stubbornly closing any and all gaps in the crowd.

I give up on trying to run once I notice the rooftop stairs.

I'm ushered to the bench, and made to sit in the corner, so there's no escape.

Although, with my condition, and the fact that Miki is on the track team, I don't think I'd make it to the door.

"Well then, let's begin."

"Sure, why not just…"

She places her hand in front of my mouth, silencing me.

"Shh."

After the hand is removed, I stay silent, baffled by how easy she does something that's even for something that stupid, quite intimate.

She seems to pick up on that, backing away slightly, cheeks flushed red and mouth slightly open.

She looks awful cute like that, and I can't help smiling.

"This is about Suzu…"

The way her voice seems distant gives me the impression that her words weren't meant to be said out loud.

"Anyway, your job today is to make lunchtime the highlight of her day."

"Spending time with you is that boring?"

She smiles, nodding.

"Save your humor for lunch, Casanova."

"Oh, so we're calling names?"

"And drop the fighting attitude."

The reply knock me completely off tact, so I can't come up with anything clever to say.

"So, if you be the smooth gentleman as we all know you to be, you will be richly rewarded."

Smooth gentleman? And who is "we all"?

"But if I hear about but one out of place joke, you will feel my wrath."

"Look, I'm trembling already."

She stands up, pointing at me with her good hand.

"Drop the attitude."

I take her hand, pulling myself up.

Contrary to expectation, she smiles at that, happily pulling me up.

"Come on, let's get to class."

She mumbles something to herself, then promptly shoulder tackles me aside.

"What the hell?"

"Oh, lighten up, you're having lunch with a cute girl today!"

The smile is just too much. Miki can be a real bastard if she's in the mood for it…

We make our way down the steps, not having anything to talk about.

Right in front of the classroom door, she stops, turning around and looking all excited all of a sudden.

"Quick, take my hand."

"What? Why?"

"If she's awake, I can mess with her."

"What kind of friend are you?"

"The best kind." And there's that damn smile again.

I'm about to say no, but the image of her blushing on the rooftop flashes in my mind, and I hesitate.

Maybe, maybe if I…

"You know what? Sure, I'll go along, but don't blame me if she decides to cancel the lunch."

"That's the spirit!"

She sticks out her good hand, giving me a wink.

I push open the door, and we walk into the classroom hand in hand.

Mutou looks up, opens his mouth, and then notices us holding hands.

Most the class joins him in the silent staring, everyone except for Casper, who's MIA again, and Miki's best friend.

We both look at Suzu, who's drooling over her textbook. I can hear Miki muttering under her breath.

"Crap."

She heads for her seat, but I pull her back, embracing her.

Her brown eyes appear dark even in broad daylight, giving off a purplish tone. I really am a sucker for pretty eyes.

Before anyone realizes what's going on, I lean in and whisper.

"Didn't think I'd let you off easy, did you? Enjoy the rumors."

And I place a kiss on her cheek.

Heart goes into overdrive, I'm somehow sitting at my desk, Miki is completely red, and the class is buzzing with whispers.

Everything stops when Mutou's hand slams against his desk.

"Tokarev, I will not have displays of affection during class! Muira, to your seat."

Miki is still staring at me, a look of complete and utter surprise still dominant on her expression.

The class is back to whispering, and Lezard is trying to shake Suzu awake, to no avail.

Mutou realizes that we ruined his lesson, shoots me a disapproving glance, and leans back in his chair, admiring the formulas written on the blackboard.

My heart slowly returns to a healthy pace.

If that doesn't help with staving off the nightmares for another night, I don't know what will.

I just don't want to see that anymore…

The chatter continues, with more and more classmates trying to get my attention.

Too late to think about how much trouble I've made for myself with this little stunt.

Don't think it'd help much anyway, best let it work itself out from here.

As my mind automatically tunes out the voices of my classmates, I can't help glancing at the clock.

It's Friday, double physics with Mutou…

This is going to be a very long day.


	11. Act I, Chapter XI: Dormancy Interlude

**My organizational skills suck, this was ready for upload a week ago. Anyway, the first choice is here, another follows next chapter.**

**I'm glad people enjoy reading the fic, but it also makes me regret not giving them a chance to guide the story (or giving it this late)... Anyway, rate and review at your convenience.**

* * *

Physics was hell.

Aside from Mutou giving me Hisao-level work as punishment, the entire class refused to quiet down, chatting amongst themselves about what they just witnessed.

Miki, although red at first, quickly recovered, getting involved in a serious whisper session with Molly.

I still can't believe I did that. The entire school will think I'm dating Miki.

Given, it's nice to be thought of as the womanizer, but I don't know how this'll turn out.

Moments before the bell rings, Mutou calls me and Miki to his desk.

The rest of the class doesn't bother staying to see what happens.

"Alright, what was that about?"

I'm about to open my mouth, but her stump flies in front of my face, giving her the second she needed to be first to speak.

"We're sorry teach, from now on, we promise to keep stuff like that to after school."

I want to say something, but find my words getting stuck somewhere in my throat.

Miki, however, ignores my exasperated look, continuing with her reply.

"He's so nice, please don't hold it against him."

Her words are followed up by the most innocent smile.

"Please teacher, we won't do it again."

Mutou stares at her for a good few seconds.

I can see him teetering on the edge of calling her bluff, but he decides against it, shrugging and walking out the classroom.

As he leaves, I turn to face Miki, who can't suppress her laughter anymore.

After her laughing fit runs its course, she looks over at me.

"Didn't you see that? I was on fire!"

"Miki, you might be overdoing it."

"Oh, come on, where's that player you were an hour ago?"

"It's a hidden potential."

She gives me a grin, then pulls me by the arm.

"C'mon, Suzu needs to know lunch is still on."

Dammit, Suzu, I forgot.

"Yeah…"

As I'm dragged through the hallway, trying to ignore the chuckles and whispers of the younger students, I can't help but feel slightly content.

I took a step into the unknown, and it turned out ok. It might just make me bold enough to try again...some other time.

The cafeteria roars with chatter the moment the two of us are spotted, but Miki does a good job of beelining for her usual table.

I'm seated next to Molly, who blushes a little, but quickly recovers, giving me a friendly smile.

Miki however is having trouble with waking the sleeper.

"Yo, Suzu, get up."

She tries to swat Miki away, but her hand misses, landing into Molly's lap.

Miki grins, then tries again. This time, the hand misses completely, just landing against her hip.

Suzu apparently gives up, raising her head slightly, her eyes half open.

"I'll skip lunch. Leave me alone."

"Come on Suzu, don't give me that."

She seems annoyed at that, her expression darkening severely.

"I know you'd enjoy that lunch a lot more…" Her voice just trails off after that…

"Leave me alone, please."

Miki slowly shakes her head, her eyes closed.

"There is nothing between the two of us. It was all a joke."

"A bad one." I add.

She turns to me, her annoyed look not fading. "It was you who did it."

Realizing she has the advantage, I back off.

Still, Suzu seems really down. Makes lunch with her a bit more serious, but nonetheless, I'm still game.

"Come on Suzu, you gave me your word."

She glances at me.

There is a shimmer of something dark in her eyes, like a shadow dashing across.

A moment later it's not there anymore, but I'm fairly sure something happened.

"Oh alright, I'll just sleep there."

She stands up, leans against me, and closes her eyes.

"Lead on."

I turn to get one final look at Miki and Molly, both of whom give me not-so-reassuring smiles.

Anyway, I head for the roof, Suzu in tow.

* * *

Today's been remarkably good with the condition, my body feeling much more responsive and all.

She goes out, and I'm forced to carry her a fair bit to the stairs.

Just like before, she seems peaceful when asleep.

She isn't wearing any makeup, which makes sense given her condition, but she looks cute nonetheless.

However, watching girls sleep is not all that it's cracked up to be, and I catch myself checking the watch every other minute.

With the break almost half over, we should really get a move on.

"Suzu, wake up."

"Mmmh."

"Come on, break's not going to last forever."

"No…"

"Come on."

I pull her up, and her eyes open wide.

A look of surprise is stuck on her face for a good few seconds before she finally relaxes.

After looking around, she faces me again, smiling.

"Too heavy to carry upstairs, am I?"

There's the smile. She was probably just sleepy.

"Nope, you're light as a feather. I just wasn't sure if I should."

"What do you mean?"

"It's my condition. I might have dropped you."

Her expression takes a much more serious tone, and she nods, her hand reaching for the railing as i pull her up.

"Alright, let's go."

So she didn't press the topic…

I think the only people who know about my condition are Emi and Rin… I don't know if I should tell Suzu as well…

We make it to the roof without any more stops.

The sun makes us both squint at first, but we soon make it to the bench.

No one else is here, but most of the yard is full with students enjoying makeshift picnic lunches.

We don't need to say anything as we unpack the lunches.

What catches my attention is that she's eating her meal (some fish and an array of various vegetables) with a spoon.

"A spoon?"

She smiles slightly, looking at the very piece of cutlery in her hand.

"Yeah, can't hurt myself if I doze off accidentally. Well, aside from gouging an eye out."

"Clever, then disturbing."

Although we share a laugh, the topic is uncomfortable, so i jump at the opportunity to change it.

"So, you got anything planned for the Festival?"

She does take her time chewing her food, but eventually answers.

"Spend some time with Molly, as much as I'm awake. She'll leave me on a bench later."

"That's not very nice."

"No, it's ok. I told her to do that. I imagine babysitting someone who is sleeping the entire day is boring."

"Oh."

Dammit, I just can't catch a break.

Dissuaded from pursuing the topic, i take a break to take in the surroundings.

It's a nice day, with the sky almost clear of clouds.

The few students still moving to and fro across the yard keep thinning in number, the sounds from below slowly dying into a calm silence.

As for the rooftop itself, the floor is reflecting the sun's rays, making it hard to keep your eyes fully open.

For a second, I consider talking about the weather, but give up on it immediately.

"So…"

I got nothing.

Fortunately, she picks up on that, smiling once more.

"Alright, I'll ask you something. What the hell happened with you and MIki?"

"She was annoying, that's all."

"So you went and kissed her?"

"Well…"

"So, what do you find annoying?"

I can't help chuckling a bit at that.

"Alright, I get it. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, but it did shut her up."

Suzu grins, taking the last bite of her lunch.

"Maybe I should try your tactic the next time she tries to wake me up."

"That'd be something to see."

"Oh, so things like that turn you on?"

"I don't know. Want to help me find out?"

We both laugh.

Finally, I feel like the ice is broken.

Suzu doesn't seem to be that down anymore, and I'm happy with that.

Her lively expression slowly starts becoming sleepy, and her head edges ever so near to her arms.

"Hey, I'm sorry, but…"

"Go ahead, I don't mind skipping a class or two waiting, especially with the new rumors."

I'm given a grateful smile by the girl with turquoise…cyan hair, whose head lands perfectly on her arms moments later.

I'm about to stand up when her weak voice speaks up one more time.

"And Mikhail, thanks." She's out.

I didn't do much, but then again, it might've been just enough to break her free from what seems to be a bad day for her.

Wish I had someone to just talk to when I'm nervous or depressed...people just don't have the patience it seems.

I yawn, stretching. A glance at the watch tells me break is over, and the class is already underway…

"Nooo, don't yawn…"

But I'd much rather stay on this roof, with the girl who sleeps, than waste time in class, trying to make out the professor's words from beneath the whispering.

I don't think I used to do stuff like this before. Stuff I really want for my own sake.

Yeah, my inner honor student will probably kill me later on, but it feels just so good right now.

I let my thoughts flow free for a bit, but they come back to a burning question.

Everything around me fades into a silent hum as I try and confront it.

Who to spend the festival with?

There's Rin, there's Miki, Suzu…even Rika might be interested, Emi too.

But why does it feel like such a simple decision is a serious one?

When I snap back into reality, I notice Suzu's head in her (fortunately) empty plate, she herself fast asleep.

Guess I didn't pay enough attention…

Still, I can't say I didn't enjoy this lunch.

She does have a sense of humor, and isn't as rigid as people usually are.

Or at least, that's how I see it.

But now I'm faced with the problem of bringing her back to the classroom.

I don't dare try and carry her, since I can't trust my body to carry my own weight…

* * *

I end up calling Hisao, who, albeit a bit surprised, was kind enough to help out.

"Thanks again man."

Hisao, who is actively struggling to carry Suzu properly, without coping a feel, barely manages to give me a nod.

I can't help laughing a bit, but soon enough, I face the same issue: Suzu is pretty curvy.

We decide to take a short break at the bottom of the stairs.

Since trying to wake her up proved fruitless, we try and make the most of the break.

"So, what was that with Miki?"

"Come on man, will I have to explain to each and every person? She was being annoying, and I tried to pay her back for it."

"It backfired?" He says, sporting the most innocent of smiles.

Hisao, you smug bastard.

"It backfired."

"I see."

He doesn't have anything more to say, and since the silence of the hallways is quite uncomfortable, I go ahead and break it.

"Any plans for tomorrow?"

He looks surprised for a moment, but recovers moments later.

"Nothing special."

The lie is an obvious one, but I decide to let it go. Should be worrying about myself anyway.

Suzu stirs a bit, opening her eyes soon after.

She looks at both me and Hisao.

A few blinks later, she turns to Hisao, pointing at me.

"It's his fault, he yawned."

Hisao turns to me, a somewhat serious expression on his face.

"You yawned? Is this true?"

I just roll my eyes.

"C'mon, you can walk now."

Glancing at the watch confirms we're already fairly late.

"Hurry up."

Suzu picks up pace, even more so than me. Walking in front of me, she turns around, and leans in slightly.

"Thanks."

And she walks away.

Hisao is giving me a puzzled look, but I ignore it. As if I don't have enough to think about.

Before I can step into the classroom, Hisao pulls me back.

The puzzled look is now all over him, and he looks serious.

"I helped you out, so I think it's fair you answer me."

"What? We're already late enough as it is."

"Come on."

"Alright, what is it?"

"What do you think about Suzuki?"

"Seriously?"

He nods, totally missing the fact I wasn't even thinking about his question.

Still, if answering will finally let me back into the classroom, I couldn't care less about what I tell him.

Every second spent here is probably more penalty homework.

"Suzu….she's…"

In a sentence, she's…

**[Fun, laid back and totally relaxed.]**

**[Friendly, pragmatic and understanding.]**


	12. Act I, Chapter XII: Anchor

**The choice was mine from the start, huh? Very well, the story goes on regardless.**

**Here's another chapter, the next one is the last one before the end of act I.**

**Anyway, enjoy the read, reviews are very appreciated.**

* * *

"I think…"

Try as I might, my mind keeps drawing blanks.

Why is it so hard to put my opinion into words?

"…"

"Nevermind."

Hisao shrugs and walks into the classroom, face carrying the undeniable look of disappointment.

I sigh, and follow after him.

The teacher gives us odd looks, but given that Suzu is involved, he decides to let it slide.

I look back to Hisao, who is talking to a surprisingly quiet Misha.

Even though I don't owe him an answer, I still feel like I could have said something.

If only I had tried harder.

In my seat, I glance at Suzu. Staying awake in the classroom is probably too much, as she's already out.

Deciding to tune out anything but the teacher's monotone voice, I get some work done.

However, the festival's proximity doesn't go unnoticed, the homework given was laughable at best. Even Kenji could finish this, and that dude doesn't go to class as far as I know.

I stop by Suzu's desk on the way out. The rest of the trio loomed about for a while, but eventually gave up.

"I'll think of something…"

And I leave the classroom.

* * *

Back in my dorm room, I decide to change.

Swap out the white shirt for a more casual gray one, add jeans and sneakers, and that's that.

My wardrobe is stocked with clothes I bought myself.

Even though both my parents are at the peaks of their careers, meaning that I can dress as expensive as possible, there's just something about managing to find good bargain clothes that I could never give up on.

Still, even modesty has its limits, and I can't resist wearing my fancy watch.

It's quite a piece: waterproof, titanium case, good leather…

I step out into the hallway.

"Sup?"

"Hey Kenji…"

Of all the people I run into…

"Disturbing rumors circulate."

No way, he couldn't have heard it this fast. I know it's a high school, but come on.

"About who?"

"About you."

"Woah." I feign surprise.

"What do they say?"

"Nasty business, things about you and that chick from the track team."

"Which one?"

"You're acquainted with more of them?"

He's jumpy, but calms down immediately.

"Good, gathering contacts…more data…"

"Kenji, what did they say?"

"You're dating, man."

"That's not true."

"I know, misinformation designed by the feminists to drive a wedge between us."

I mean that much to his "resistance"? Maybe put some distance.

"Bro, I'll do some solo investgation. Until the seventh, we aren't to talk."

"Hmm…"

He fidgets with his scarf for a while, but eventually nods and retreats to his room in silence.

I wave him off, then proceed out the dorm.

It's still sunny. Groups of students are strewn across the yard, enjoying makeshift picnics or just hanging out.

Some part of me feels sad that I'm not in one of those groups.

It's human nature to be social, to talk and spend time with lots of others.

Still, I never truly felt a part of some such group.

Guess loneliness is inherit for me. Maybe for her too.

Rika is next to the gate, staring into something in the distance.

She is sitting down, one leg bent in the knee, the other completely outstretched. Both her hands are in her pockets.

Her position is eerily similar to the one she had the time we met.

But unlike last time, now she's wearing a shoulderless white shirt, loose gray pants and sneakers.

A smile creeps onto my lips, probably due to the braid. It's just something about the childishness of it that is such a turn on. But now that I think about it like that, maybe it's not so good.

"You're here early." She says, eyes still fixed on that something far away.

"Is there something wrong about that?"

"No."

She frowns slightly, and then looks at my shoes.

"Could you help me up?"

"Sure."

I give her my hand.

She takes me by the wrist, waits a few seconds, then gets up.

Brushing a stray strand of hair away, she looks me in the eyes.

"Coming early was nice of you."

"Eh, thanks."

"Let's go. It's not far."

As we get farther away from the school, the noise dies down a bit, eventually fading completely.

It really isn't far, as the edge of town can be seen from the gate.

Guess fear of getting lost was a weak excuse after all.

Keeping pace, I shift my attention to her.

The way she carries herself is interesting.

Shizune moves with firm determination, straight back, long steps.

Lilly is much the same, but a bit more relaxed and graceful.

Rin is a lot clumsier, with shorter, sometimes unnecessarily short steps.

Rika's style is a lot like mine, or Suzu's.

Straight back, but relaxed, even slumped shoulders. Eyes slightly lowered, like she's too lazy (or too tired) to look straight ahead.

For some reason, I smile slightly.

We keep walking for a long while, descending almost completely into the town.

Just as the last of the trees disappear behind some house, I hear Rika's voice.

"Mind if I ask you a question?"

I turn to see her looking straight at me, her hands still tucked into her pockets.

Somehow I get the feeling this is about Miki.

"Go ahead."

She hesitates for a moment, still looking me straight into the eyes.

Her voice is calm and even.

"You were born with your condition, right?"

It's about my condition?

"Yeah.."

Katayama is not your usual high school girl.

"Hmm…"

Her hand emerges from its pocket, brushing against her lips with long, slim fingers.

After pondering for a while longer, she shrugs, her hand gliding smoothly down her hips and into the side pocket of her jeans.

Even though silence takes over again, I'm left with a question.

"Why did you assume my condition wasn't something triggered?"

She looks at me once again, the same hollow look on her face she has been sporting almost the entire day.

"Yamaku gets two kinds of students. Those with inherit conditions, and those who have suffered an accident. We're both the first kind."

"Oh…"

She takes notice of my discomfort, but says nothing about it, just lowering her gaze again.

I take the hint, trying to find something to draw my attention away from the topic.

"We're here."

Well, that's something.

* * *

The shopkeeper must be an old acquaintance.

Not only did he completely ignore the fact he was selling smokes to a high school student, but he said something that made her smile.

While I was there, I picked up some things for my room. Mostly snacks and personal hygiene.

Once back outside, we beeline to the nearest bench.

A spark jumps into the stream of gas, erupting into a steady flame.

Bringing the tip of a cigarette to it, Rika smiled slightly.

She brings it to her lips, taking a long drag.

Her eyes close, and soon after, a stream of smoke starts forming below her nose.

"I love smoking."

"Yeah?"

"Nurse keeps pestering me about it, but man…" Her voice trails off.

Even as she does this, she is sitting in that strange position:

Leaning on me with her back, one leg bent in the knee, while the other is stretched.

I guess it's her thing.

"You want one?"

"Nah…"

"That's no fun. The more the merrier."

"Still, I'm still too new to get on Nurse's bad side."

"That man has no bad side."

I smile at that.

She readjusts herself, taking a few more drags. The cigarette is now almost halfway done.

"People are fun to talk to, don't you think so?"

"I don't get your point."

"Every time someone new arrives, I talk to them and say something really inappropriate, just to see how they react."

Then she pauses, looking surprised all of a sudden.

"So you WERE busy, with Miki!"

"What? No!"

She smiles, tossing the cigarette into the nearby bin.

"I know."

She sits up, folding her legs beneath her.

"Miki was just a flash wasn't she?"

"A flash?"

"Of the Mikhail you were before something triggered your condition, or you learned about it. Whichever works."

"What?"

She smiles again, taking a deep breath.

"Come on, I know I'm right about this. Before coming here, you were a player, maybe _the_ player."

"Uhh…"

Her deduction is remarkable, she got it spot on.

I remember that starting a relationship always hinged on one rule:

He who dares, wins.

And after a few initial blunders, I started to get really daring.

To think of my dad's amusement when he returned to the school for the second time that one week, not only to realize I was accused of "public displays of affection" with two different girls in the same week, but that the two had a fight over me.

He wouldn't stop laughing until we got home.

I guess half a year's worth of dormancy took away most of that daring I had. Until this morning that is.

And Rika calls it out perfectly.

"That's impressive."

"Thanks."

There's an awkward silence, where she gets up, tucking both her hands back in her pockets.

"Would you like to have some coffee with me?"

"Sure. Where?"

She starts walking to a teahouse a bit down the street.

"The Shanghai, huh?"

* * *

"Welcome to the Shanghai!"

The waitress makes a lightning fast gesture, almost slamming into Rika.

"Ms. Shirakawa, do you have to do this every time?"

The waitress went red.

"Of course! it's my job. The usual seats?"

"Yes, but just coffee today."

"You didn't like it?"

"No, it was wonderful, but I'd rather he didn't learn about my other pleasure today."

Slightly confused with their conversation, I just compliantly followed after the waitress.

We get brought to a corner with a large window.

Rika took the further seat, aligning herself so she could comfortably stretch the other leg.

Without a cigarette, she went back to lowering her head. Somehow, it's what I expected.

The light from the window shines directly at her pale skin, giving her an unearthly, beautiful glow.

I feel a faint smile as the waitress returns with two large mugs.

Now that I get a closer look, she looks surprisingly familiar.

"Excuse me for asking, but have I seen you before?"

She looks over at Rika with a worried expression, but she doesn't respond, staring into some dot on the wall.

The waitress gives a heavy sigh.

"I work part time as the librarian at the school."

I must have seen her on my way to the roof, since that's the only time remotely pass the library.

"And do you have a name?"

She goes red again.

"Yuuko, Yuuko Shirakawa."

"Pleasure meeting you Yuuko, perhaps one day I will venture to your other workplace."

She smiles at that, giving a far more controlled bow before disappearing.

I take some time to appreciate my surroundings.

The place is soothing, with mostly neutral wooden tones, and a few quiet patrons scattered about, doing crosswords or staring out the window.

By the time I return my eyes to Rika, she's already holding her mug, drinking in short sips.

Aside from being a tad too sweet for my taste, the coffee is superb.

After a while, I notice she's peering at me from behind the thin veil of steam rising from her coffee.

"What is it?"

She slowly lowers the mug, a curious expression on her face.

"I want to ask you something."

I shrug.

"Go ahead."

She sits up normally, her fingers wrapping tightly around the ceramic.

I catch a flicker in her eyes, but I can't define it.

After a second to clear her throat, she says it.

"We're both going to die…Does that worry you?"

The teahouse becomes silent.

Her question echoes in my head. Does death worry me?

In six months, I got acquainted with it.

People came and gone, only some through the front door.

I used to speak to some of them.

But I've never thought about it what happened to them when they've gone.

Some expected a great beyond, some thought only darkness awaits.

Either way, it was us, the other patients, who remembered them in that hospital.

"I…I don't think so. No."

She closes her eyes, still faintly smiling.

"I finished my coffee, let's go."

* * *

We must look odd, the two of us.

Walking side by side, both slightly hunched with our hands in our pockets.

We stare at the ground, hoping our answers are written there.

I'm thinking about something.

Just past the gate, we stop.

I feel something heavy on my heart as I look at her.

Why did you bring it up?

She walks up to me, placing her hand on my wrist.

"I'll tell you a little secret."

Her eyes seem empty and lifeless, like she's somewhere far away. She closes them as she speaks.

"Anchors don't help a sinking ship."

Tapping my wrist, she turns on her heel, walking away.

I stand there for a while longer, staring in silence.

In the end, the most I could do is shrug.


	13. Act I, Chapter XIII: Like Fire

**A change of pace, a flashback to give some insight to the character of the protagonist.**

* * *

When I fell, I had pain.

When I awoke, I had misery. A broken body.

Shallow breaths echo throughout the spacious room. It's dark.

The old man's breath is labored, for he is dying, this much I understood.

I'm alone here; alone with nothing but my fear, my grief and my rage to keep me company.

Sometimes, there is also guilt; I let this happen.

The medication once again overpowers me, and the world goes dark.

…

I awake to the strong smell of coffee.

The old man still lives, looking at the doctor with fading grey eyes.

His eyes seem to hang on every word that leaves the doctor's lips.

She walks up to my table.

The same questions, the same answers.

I don't want the medicine, I don't want to numb the pain.

Yet they ignore me.

"It's easier with them." They'd say.

It's easier to dull your mind.

That's where it came from.

My rage.

….

The old man is not the first.

People have died on that cot before.

The doctors do not grieve for them. Some you save, some you don't.

But what happens when you should grieve for those you _have_ saved?

What happens when you are placed in the cot in the big room in the east wing?

You lose something. A part of you.

It comes to visit me at night, the medication opens the door.

It terrorizes me.

My fear.

…

I wake up screaming.

The doctors rush in, but the alarm is false.

Lowering their heads, hands stuffed into their pockets, they leave the room.

The old man is awake. his cloudy gray eyes stare at me.

"What's wrong boy?"

Hundreds of words form in my mind. Hundreds more soon follow.

But, as if held by some invisible barrier, the words stop just short of my teeth.

I cannot speak to him. He wouldn't understand.

No one would. No one here.

I pity this old man. I pity this broken body.

I pity this grieving soul.

It eats away at me.

At my heart, at my soul. At my hope.

My grief, eats away.

…

He speaks to me.

They are untrustworthy, he says. I can trust you, he says.

Carry a message for me, speak the words I cannot.

Speak of gratitude, for the life I had had this long.

Speak of forgiveness, for the people who've done me wrong.

Speak of love, the one I have for my family.

They will not be here in time, you must carry my message.

A dry cough echoes around the room.

Like fire, it would spread.

Speak my words, and pray they take them to heart.

…

The old man lies dead in a cot in the big room in the east wing.

The doctors shake their heads and carry him out.

I call for them.

"His family," I tell them, "bring them here when they arrive."

The old man's words will not go unspoken.

…

His family left the room in tears. I have fulfilled my promise.

The words were there so that there would be no void, so that they would know what he thought about as he lay in his cot, his life fading away.

But the words, they had a secret, another message.

This one, meant for me. The one who has not yet died.

There are only two sides of a coin, only two beds in the big room.

"Look to your side boy." I can almost hear his voice.

Pain shoots through my neck as I glance at the object in the far end of the room, to my side.

It is a mirror.

…

No reflection is perfect. No reflection is the truth.

The image I saw was not reality.

My body was broken, but that was not the truth.

I was afraid, but that too was untrue.

The indifference I saw. It was no truth.

I understood the old man's words, understood what I have forgotten.

Then, I felt it.

Hope, like fire.


	14. Act I, Chapter XIV: Zugzwang

**Last one before the festival. I tried to make a slight change of pace.**

**I'm relying on you guys to pick the story you want, since i'm kinda torn between them.**

**I hope you will enjoy the read, and be kind enough to leave a review and your choice on which story should be written.**

**PS: Kudos to anyone who manages to figure out why Nurse suggests sugar-free gum.**

* * *

I open my eyes to a pristine white ceiling. This isn't my room then.

There is a faint scent of disinfectant in the air, so I'm guessing Nurse's office.

It takes extra effort to force the body up, into a sitting position.

There's a girl here as well, sitting on a chair, asleep.

I think I've seen her somewhere before…

The door is pushed open, and I turn to face a smiling Nurse.

It must take something special to be able to smile all the time like that.

He notices me awake, and places the bag he was carrying on the table.

"Up already? I just brought the magic markers."

"How'd I end up here?"

"You fainted. Miss Enomoto convinced some boys to help bring you here."

I glance at her again. It's the girl from the crowd, she was waiting for someone…

Where is he anyway? It's been a while…

Nurse starts rummaging through the bag, stacking various small bottles and boxes on an empty shelf in his cabinet.

"Mikhail, I'll need you to start using these."

He hands me a small package.

"Sugarfree gum? I don't get it."

"I'd be surprised if you did, it's a pretty recent thing, and kind of a longshot. I figured you'd like to try anything that comes up, besides, you'll need them for Muira."

That again? I thought people moved on.

"Nothing happened there."

"Sure it didn't."

He grins and winks at me, and I just roll my eyes.

"I had a bag…"

"Brought to your room, don't worry."

"Alright…"

Enomoto slowly opens her eyes, blinking at Nurse, then at me.

"He's ok."

"Yes, he is."

She yawns, stretches, and feels around the chair, looking relieved upon finding the cane.

Guess it is hers.

"So, who'd I rescue this time?"

I shoot Nurse a quizzed look, but he, completely in character, just smiles.

"She likes to hear the name from the student him or herself."

"Ok…In that case, you rescued Mikhail."

"And your savior is Saki."

She raises her hands, probably trying to accent the significance of being "rescued" by her.

She blinks at the room some more, and then slowly gets up, her lips curved into a steady, gentle smile.

"Well, I guess my work here is done."

She heads for the door.

"Wait."

Stopping abruptly, she turns on her heel, spinning the cane to Nurse's disapproval.

"Anything else you need?"

"You're coming with me."

"And what do you plan to do with me?"

Several graphic ideas surface in my mind, but I easily shoot each one down. No, I don't want that, not with her anyway.

"You have anywhere to be?"

She thinks about it for a moment, but then shrugs.

"Guess I'm all yours."

She turns to the table, scanning for something. Apparently unable to find it, she looks up at Nurse, who is still standing to the side, stacking the small boxes.

"Where'd you put the condoms?"

"No way…"

Nurse slowly puts the small box down, staring intently at her.

Even more slowly, he reaches into a small freezer under the table, and produces a couple of square-shaped packs.

"You know how to use these Mikhail?"

I'm probably as red as I could get, but saying something wrong can only make things worse…

I got it.

"Of course, but I'm afraid those will be too small."

There is silence, with both Nurse and Saki staring at me in silence. Saki is first to break it, giggling wholeheartedly, with Nurse soon following with his own chuckle.

"I fell for it, unbelievable." He says in a cheery tone, slamming the freezer door shut.

"Come on, get out of here, both of you. If you're good to joke around, you're good to leave."

* * *

We pause in the now fairly dark yard, as I beeline for the first empty bench.

I guess Rika bringing up the topic of death reminded me of something I'd rather forget.

It seems strange though, while I was out, my dream was something about hope.

I'll run into Rika soon enough, she has to learn to watch her words. I'll teach her if it comes to that.

Saki becomes restless, poking me with her cane, and swinging her legs up and down.

"So, what are we doing?"

I check my watch. 10 PM.

"We're gonna visit Kenji."

She seems surprised upon hearing his name, but reveals nothing further.

In slow stride, we make our way to the boys' dorm.

She gets a few odd looks when we arrive, but nothing more.

I lead her to my room, and invite her inside.

"Come on, if Kenji sees a girl, he'll flip."

She lets out a long, drawn-out sigh.

"I know. Go ahead and finish the setup already, I wanna see what you have in plan for us."

I wince slightly at her use of the word _us_, but proceed to Kenji's room otherwise unfazed.

Knock-knock.

"Who is it?"

"Me."

"You sure."

"No, let me check."

"…"

"You checked yet?"

"Dammit Kenji, open the door."

I hear a grunt, then several locks clicking open.

"Sup Bro?" By now, I got used to this as his usual greeting.

"I need something."

"What?"

"I need booze."

He flashes an unsettling grin, then retreats into his room.

"Will whisky do? It's the man's drink."

"Got anything I'd be more familiar with?"

"You mean vodka?"

"Yes, I mean vodka."

"Nope."

Oh well, was worth a shot.

I close his door and head back down the hall towards mine.

It's locked? Why'd she lock herself in my room?

After a minute of fumbling with the keys, I finally hear the click, and push the door open.

"I'm back."

Pillows are stacked on the top side of my bed.

Leaning against them, with her feet bare, her blouse unbuttoned, and armed with the most captivating smile I've ever seen...

Those eyes…

One shoulder is bare, the blouse moved to the side just enough to give clear sight of the strapless bra behind it.

It's a basic design, monochromatic-black, doing a poor job of concealing her middling, but perky breasts.

I can feel my body craving to move forward. I don't know if it's my mind or my condition keeping it.

One touch, one kiss…

"…"

Get your shit together Mikhail. Saki is off limits for now.

Still, I'm faced with a situation here, and I need to think fast.

I back up against the door, prying my eyes off her chest, and up to her head.

"Saki, I'm not going to do it."

She looks at me, then playfully frowns, crossing her arms.

"You're no fun."

"Alright, I'll give them a squeeze, but that's it."

She looks surprised, but then leans back, tucking her hands behind her back.

She's calling my bluff…

Do or do not, I guess.

Fuck it, it's Wednesday.

"Give me your hand, your right."

With a look of surprise on her face, she slowly extends her arm.

Pull, twirl, grab: just like dancing.

She gasps as I spin her around, landing her back perfectly on my chest, my hands perfectly on the sides of her own.

And the finishing touch, some light pressure.

"Wow, they're firm."

She starts laughing, and I let her go, watching as she buttons up her blouse, and falls back into the pile of pillows.

"I can't believe you did that." She says, still laughing.

"Hey, you were asking for it."

"Alright playboy, what now?"

Oh yeah, the booze.

The bag from the town is indeed here, so I take the bottle Rika helped me buy.

A classic, no flavors, no fancy stuff.

"Seriously, isn't that a stereotype?"

"There's a reason it is one."

I take the first swig, wincing as the fiery liquid runs down my throat.

"Your turn."

* * *

I glance at the clock. 2 AM.

The bottle is long gone.

My hands are on her breasts again, but this time, we're in the bed together.

We've been talking about her for a while now, and I think it's my turn.

"Hey, why don't we talk about my problems?"

She twists around to look at me, and I lose my grip. Damn.

Instead of saying anything, she just gives a wide smile and a nod.

"So, I should start with Miki, huh?"

"You really should."

"Alright…Miki…"

"She's fun, energetic, a free mind."

"How so?" She says, rubbing her bare shoulder against my own.

"Well, you may have heard her talk. She doesn't sugarcoat."

"True."

"But I like that, it kinda reminds me of a girl I used to know."

"An ex?" She turns around again.

"Dammit woman, stop turning around. Do you want me to fondle your breasts or not?"

We both laugh, and she settles down, guiding my hands.

"I don't know…Miki is like the high school girlfriend you could marry."

I can sense that she's like me, she came here recently as well.

Maybe, just maybe, we could help each other.

"Alright, aside from Miki?"

"Well…."

"Come on, whoever it is, I'm staying quiet. This is your leverage if you don't trust me." She gestures at our arms.

"It's ok, I trust you. For some reason."

As expected, she elbows me in the ribs for that.

"Aside from Miki, there's Rin."

"Oh, what's she like?"

"You don't know her?"

"I do, but you can't really know Rin."

"That's true."

We stay silent for a while, staring out the window at the stars.

I let go, just holding her normally.

"It's because of those."

"The stars?"

"Yeah, she is always looking at the sky, or the stars."

"So?"

"Well, when I'm with her, I do that too."

"You want to stare at the sky?"

"I can't explain it."

"Ok, you're definitely right for her."

I laugh. I didn't expect the day to end up like this.

"But seriously, what is it about her you find attractive?"

"She's just so…carefree."

"You mean detached?"

"Maybe."

The real world melts away when I hang out with her.

Yes, she is awkward and confused most of the time, but I think I could understand her.

I think I want to understand her.

"Well, aren't you just all over the place."

I sigh, smiling like an idiot.

"There's more…"

"How many?"

"Two."

"Just sleep with me and get it over with."

This time, I honestly laugh with all my heart.

It would be an easier solution, but I want to get all of this off my chest.

"I'm tempted, but no."

*sigh*

"Alright, who else?"

"Suzuki, from my class."

"Snoozu? Why her?"

"She's actually a very nice person."

"And proportionally to the size of her body, she's a C cup."

"And that."

We laugh like kids after every witty remark.

"But really, I see so much potential in her."

It's like a spark, that craves life.

Not the half-life she has now with the sleep, but really living.

She's like me in that regard, we're both sentenced to these half-lives.

"Yeah, potential…"

"Oh, shut up, you're just jealous because I don't want to sleep with you."

"Why not? Most boys here would jump at this opportunity."

It's the bro code.

"It's complicated. We aren't meant to be together."

"Pfft. Fine."

I run my hand through her hair, doing my best to mess it up as much as possible.

"Come on…you're mean."

"It's your fault."

"Bullshit."

I just stick my tongue out in response.

It's what she's been waiting for.

Something like a vibrating feeling goes from my mouth down the rest of my body, bouncing back into my head.

My mind goes blank, and I surrender to the kiss.

Somehow, I manage to pull away.

The vibrating feeling lingers, and I take a few seconds to clear my head.

"Don't do that."

She just stares at me with small puppy eyes.

"Please?"

"Come on, give up already."

She closes her eyes, frowning for a moment.

Her smile returns the moment she opens her eyes.

"Alright, you won't fall for me, but who's the last girl you might fall for?"

"Rika."

She turns around one last time, folding her legs beneath her.

Guess the cuddling part is over. Damn, I'm a romantic.

"Katayama?"

"Yes."

"Dude, that's huge."

"Now you sound like Miki."

"Rika is my best friend…sort of."

"Ok…"

"Why Rika?"

"I don't know. She seems incredibly smart, and that's a turn on."

"Ok, besides her academic future."

"She said something."

"Most people do. Details."

"Something about death."

At that moment, her smile faded away.

She just stares at me, her eyes distant and unfocused.

"I should go."

3 AM. She should. Festival's today.

In silence, I help her get dressed.

We walk out of the dorm together, and say our goodbyes.

Before she reaches the bottom of the staircase, she turns around.

"Thanks for the good time. I have one last question for you."

"Shoot."

"Who do you really like?"

I smile. This question is strangely fitting as an end to this night.

It's time to make the choice, isn't it.

Doing nothing is what i want to do, but it's the wrong choice.

No more hesitation.

No more fear.

"Go sleep Saki, I'll tell you tomorrow."

She seems to think about it, finally giving up.

At the bottom of the stairs, she turns to me once more, does a curtsey, and then disappears into the night.

She's interesting.

The question?

I know the answer now.

* * *

**[Rin. I want to see the world the way she does, just because i can't. ]**

**[Suzu. Life is too short to survive. I want to live every moment of every day. ]**

**[Miki. There are things out there that I dream to do. Why not just do them? ]**

**[Rika. Does it bother me? Can you really live with death? ]**

**[Saki. To hell with the Bro code! ]**


	15. Act I Finale: Ghosts

**You decided on Rika. Probably the hardest story (aside from maybe Miki), but i'm glad you trust me to deliver on such a tall order.**

* * *

A stray beam of sunlight makes its way past the window curtains, aiming straight for my eyes.

Trying to shut my eyes tighter, I turn around.

A few moments later, my wits catch up to me and I realize it's the morning of festival day.

First things first though, I adjust the damn curtains.

The nausea and headache, reminders of last night's drinking, aren't as bad as they could be.

I'm pretty confident they'll blow over with a shower and breakfast.

My room is a bit of a mess, and it seems Saki forgot her barrette here…

I close my eyes and pinch my nose, trying to dispel what's left of my sleepiness.

It somewhat works, as I manage to get up, and head for the showers.

Spending a few minutes under jets of hot water brings me back into shape, my head clear and my body responsive.

When I step out, I notice that the other showers are occupied now.

For some reason, my gaze is drawn to the mirror.

Standing taller than most, with Slavic features, wide shoulders and short, dark hair, It's probably easy to tell I'm not quite a native. But people don't seem to mind it all that much.

Running my hand through my hair a few times, I smile at the reflection, then leave the showers for good.

Back in the room, taking care of yesterday's mess doesn't take long, so I'm ready to head out within the minute.

* * *

There's a lot of people here…

That single thought resonates through my head as I stare into the colossal masses of people streaming all over the yard.

It's like the entire town came up here…hell, it probably did.

I start to feel overwhelmed, almost suffocated. It's too crowded.

After a moment to get my bearings, and take a deep breath, I step forwards.

Starting to dig my way through the crowds to the other side, I glance to the side, noticing Rin and her mural.

She seems uneasy as well. I don't think she's the kind of person who'd enjoy being stuck in such a large crowd. The mural looks good at least.

Before I can dwell on it further, the crowd rushes at an opening, carrying me deeper into the yard.

More nervous by the second, I elbow and knee my way through the people in my way, ending up spit out at the far end of the yard.

Dusting myself off, I survey the yard.

I'm past most of the stalls, in the emptier side of the school grounds.

Aside from a few scattered picnic groups, there's really nobody else here.

Which, if I guessed correctly, means she should be around here somewhere.

I start searching the groups, slowly making my way towards the back of the school.

She owes me an explanation, and an apology.

You don't just start talking about death with someone who spent six months recovering from a brush with it.

Hell, I can handle it, but my subconscious can't. It's the only way I can explain it.

The groups of students are thinning, and I'm almost back where we first met.

I stop, sitting down on the grass, hoping to think this through.

What should I say? Should a accuse her of being careless?

No, that won't do…

I give up, leaning back and falling into the grass.

I'm looking for Rika, yet I have no idea what to do when I find her.

I could just ignore the whole thing. Pretend it never happened.

No, that won't do either.

I just lay there, staring at the cerulean sky, it devoid of clouds, me devoid of ideas.

A smile creeps onto my face upon realizing that I'm wasting festival day chasing a ghost.

She knows I'm looking for her, I'm pretty sure of that.

Saki probably told her something about yesterday, hopefully only the bit outside the boys' dorm…

I take a few deep breaths, then relax.

Everything is going to be fine, I'm just overthinking things.

* * *

Sometime later, I'm up once more, determined to find her.

Hurrying down the now empty backyard, I head for the corner.

As soon as I turn it, I notice her.

She's in her uniform again, leaning against the wall the way she does, one hand busy with a cigarette, the other twirling her braid.

She seems pretty calm, even when she notices me.

"Hey."

"Hey."

I walk up to her, deciding to lean against the wall as well.

"Thought I'd find you here."

From behind a cloud of smoke, I can see her brow raise slightly.

"Oh, why is that?"

"You didn't strike me as keen on playing festival games."

She smiles, closing her eyes.

"Seems you have me completely figured out."

I cringe at her condescending tone.

Aware of the venom in my voice, I turn to her.

"Fick dich Rika."

Surprised, she takes a long look at me.

"Ja? Fick dich auch."

That I did not expect.

"Du sprichst deutsch?" My voice is surprisingly devoid of shock.

"Natürlich, denkst du dass du bist der einzige?"

Guess she has me there. I'm not the only one.

"Jemand anders?"

"Ich weiß nicht."

Like that, my anger subsides.

Seems like she always has something to surprise me with. I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

Reaching out, I take her cigarette.

One drag, just to clear my head a bit.

That one turns into three, so I flick the now useless filter away into the dark green grass.

I let my gaze drift across the yard, and my thoughts flow free for a bit.

The corners of my lips drop down, and I furrow my brow.

Hanging out with her is a risky idea. She might just be a common bully, and I wouldn't have a clue.

"You seem angry."

"Of course I am."

Her red eyes gloss strangely in the yellowish light, and she cocks her head.

She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out.

Closing her eyes halfway, she lets her gaze drop to the floor, her expression tainted with sadness.

"I'm sorry for whatever I said."

"You don't even know what bothered me?"

Dammit, that sounded angrier than it should.

She closes her eyes, clenching her fist and slouching her shoulders.

"I say a lot of things that hurt people. I don't mean to hurt, it's just the way I am."

I close my eyes as well, sinking down onto the somewhat cold concrete below.

She sounds sincere. I don't know if she really means it, and I'd rather not find out.

It's easier this way. To just leave everything behind, just let go.

"It's alright."

I feel her sitting down next to me, then extending one leg.

I smile, and as I do, an idea makes its way into my head.

"Want to do festival stuff?"

* * *

She's as mean as they make them, able to match every damn prize I win us.

Of course, neither of us have use for giant stuffed animals, so, save for a pink elephant, we return them all to the respective stands.

"Why a pink elephant?"

"There's always an elephant in the room." She says, her voice steady and serious.

"A pink one?"

"Girls will be girls."

We both laugh a bit, deciding to give the thing to Saki. She seems to like plush stuff.

All of a sudden, something hits me.

This morning, the crowds bothered me to no end.

Now that there's two of us, neither seems to mind, even though the crowd has only swollen since then.

"Well, we saw just about everything we can here…"

She smiles, quickly turning in place and jumping back, as if she was dancing.

"Are you saying you want to go somewhere else?"

I look up at the now pink sky. They're promising a fireworks show, so it'd be nice to pick a good spot.

"Exactly."

We slip out of the crowd, ending up near the dorms.

"Let's get rid of him." I say, holding up the giant plush animal.

Placing Saki's barrette onto its head, I hand it to Rika, who disappears into the girls dorm.

Turning to lean against the railing, I gaze at the crowds again.

Most are tired by now, with only a handful of energetic individuals still dashing from stall to stall.

Despite yesterday's events, I'm content. It turned out ok in the end.

I want to get to know Rika better. That's my decision, despite the risk.

She appears next to me, wrapping her long fingers around the rail, her braid tossed over her shoulder.

"I want to talk to you."

I turn to her, but hold my words.

She wouldn't say something pointless like that with no reason.

"Alright. But let's go somewhere else."

She smirks, placing a long finger on her cheek.

"Glad we understood each other."

* * *

The school is a lot less crowded, with a few families being led around by eager first year students.

We walk past them, side by side, neither talking much.

Arriving at the empty roof, we sit at the table, the silence becoming awkward.

At least to me, that is. Rika seems perfectly content with staring at me.

"I know I'm handsome, but this is overkill."

She stirs, blinking once as she fixes her stare back onto me.

"Sorry?"

"I said…nevermind."

She stands up, stepping all the way behind me.

I turn around to face her, only to find her in another strange position.

With curiosity in her eyes, her face and hair glistening under the setting sun, Rika is looking straight at me.

She is leaning forward, her hands on her back, one foot slightly behind the other.

After she tilts her head, her braid slides down her shoulder, hanging loosely on her left.

Even though I'm seated, our eyes are level.

I take a long look into her eyes, surprised by the childish curiosity radiating from them.

She smiles ever so slightly.

"What is it?"

Her smile spreads, and she slowly withdraws.

"Nothing."

I scratch my head in confusion, then swing my legs to the other side, so I face her completely.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

She steps around again, climbing onto the table.

"Hey!"

She turns around, does a flourish, then sits down, folding her legs beneath her.

"Damn you're strange."

She gives me an enigmatic smile.

"You'll get used to it. You'll even grow to like it."

"As if…"

She starts swaying from side to side, looking restless.

"Come on, there's an hour until the show, your job is to keep me from smoking until then."

"Fine, give me the pack."

"Not likely. You need to entertain me."

I lean back, trying to get a read of her intentions.

Nothing.

"Why should I do that?"

She smiles, probably having expected this question.

"I'll keep helping you get your hands on contraband."

"Contraband huh?"

"Well there's a reason I asked you to help me."

"Go ahead. 56 Minutes."

I smile, then lean back in, clearing my throat.

"You see, I'm an only child. Kind of."

"Kind of?"

"Nevermind that."

She seems hesitant, but then finally nods.

"Alright. Lonely."

"Not quite. But that's not the point."

"So why bring it up in the first place?"

I shrug.

"Seemed like a decent intro."

"Du bist Verrückt …"

"Anyway, I'm at this party a year ago."

My god…has it been that long?

I shake my head, recalling the entire event.

"The entire thing was just an excuse to get drunk and try and hook up a friend of ours with some girl he liked..."

"He chickened out, and you, who were sober for some reason, left a bottle in his room. He downed the whole thing, and you just had to lead the equally drunk girl to his room."

"…"

What the hell?

This has to be some kind of joke.

I stare at her in disbelief, and she just smiles.

"I get why you asked me, but it's not quite a unique story."

I open my mouth to object, but then quickly change my mind.

"Yeah. You're right."

She looks at me, her eyebrows shooting up.

"You're getting better at this. Soon you won't be worth the effort."

"You might never know."

She smiles at that, deciding to get off the table.

"I never met anyone who got better. They just got boring."

"Glad to know I'm special."

"You aren't."

I shoot her an icy glare.

She seems amused, staring though the fence at the crowds.

"It's just that people here are scared. They can't handle it."

I can't handle it. I passed out for heaven's sake…

"Can't handle what?"

"Living."

* * *

We sat down on the middle of the roof, staring at the star-covered sky.

The first, reddish spark shoots up, exploding into a rosy star.

It's soon followed by its brothers, drenching the sky with neon colors.

"You know what makes fireworks so interesting?"

"No."

"It's a number of things. Some like them because they're rare."

"Makes sense."

"But I agree with the others."

"What do they say?"

"Fireworks are dangerous, being made from gunpowder and all."

"The point?"

"For some people, the charm of fireworks is in the fact that it's so risky to handle them."

"So it's just the adrenaline rush?"

She shakes her head, then steps towards the fence, blue-colored explosions flashing overhead.

"Dangerous things are all around us."

She pushes the fence, and it caves in. Probably not the best fence for a roof.

"And fear…fear follows danger, right?"

She turns around to look at me, and then leans back.

The fence protests with a terrifying groan, but it holds.

"Sometimes we need fear. To remind us."

That fence looks like it'll give any second. My heart starts beating faster, and I take a step forward.

"Because if we forget…"

She pushes back, and the fence gives another groan, one more shrill and more urgent.

"Boom. You're gone."

I take her by the arm, pulling her back onto the roof.

"Damn it Rika, are you out of your mind!?"

She turns to look at the all but broken fence, only to shrug afterwards.

The fireworks have stopped, leaving only moonlight to illuminate the world.

She looks me into the eyes, holding my shoulders.

"Do you believe in destiny?"

I feel dizzy, stumbling back to the bench.

It's something about her that scares the life out of me.

"…"

Maybe she's right.

My heart calms down, and everything seems clearer.

Her words, her behavior. Scaring me to prove a point.

Think about death, and life seems that much more precious.

I shake my head, starting to laugh.

She's sitting close to me, her arms wrapped around her bent leg.

"What's so funny?"

I don't reply, still laughing.

"Come on, what is it?"

I manage to calm down, fixing my gaze on those sharp red eyes.

"I've been thinking about it you know, almost six months."

"I don't follow."

I smile once again.

"Just imagine how stupid I feel right now."

She closes her eyes, every expression fading from her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Standing up, I dust myself off.

No surprise she didn't understand what I'm talking about, I probably did sound strange.

"Nor should anyone. Come on, festival's officially over." I say, holding out my hand.

"You shouldn't have done that."

She does take my hand though, and we start heading down.

"Stop you from falling off a roof?"

"Say something strange."

"What, I stole your thing?"

"Worse, got me curious."

Yeah, that I can probably handle.

"Come on, we got school tomorrow."

* * *

**This story was actually meant to be a way for me to refine my (almost nonexistent) writing skill.**

**However, with every one who gave their approval (via follow, review or something else), i soon realized backing out is no longer an option.**

**A thank you to everyone who stuck with the story through act I, despite the numerous chapters and amateur errors. I hope you'll stick around a bit longer :)**

**Rika's story will be hell to write, given her character and the depressing plot, but it'll be worth it in the end (if i don't mess up big time by then).**

**Anyway, enjoy the last chapter of act I.**


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